I was in a long-term relationship with a guy who was cheating on me. If that wasn’t bad enough, I then received a call from the other woman who confessed she had been dating him for months. I was expecting a cat fight like in the movies, where we’d shout at and blame each other, but it wasn’t like that at all — what actually happened was pretty cool.
- I finally found out the truth. My ex didn’t have the balls to tell me he was cheating when I confronted him. Hearing it from the other woman that I was right all along was an opportunity to get some damn answers to questions that had been bugging me, like had she been there two weeks previously when there were more plates than usual in the kitchen sink? (Yes, she had.) It was great to know that I hadn’t been crazy or paranoid by suspecting him of cheating, even though I sure as hell felt like I was losing my mind many times during that relationship.
- I learned to trust my gut. Having my suspicions confirmed was sort of bittersweet, though. I should have listened to my gut that I was being royally screwed over, but I had doubted and re-doubted myself, desperate to believe his lies. Now I had cold, hard evidence that I had been right. It was a life lesson that I had to trust my inner voice because it would have saved me from a whole lot of drama.
- I got closure he could never give me. Funnily enough, my relationship with that loser ended because he ghosted me. I knew he probably had someone else but wasn’t sure, so hearing the truth from the other woman finally gave me closure. I knew what had happened, that he had moved on, and I could move on with my life, too. The truth freed me from debilitating uncertainty.
- Gossiping about him felt like beautiful revenge. We shared stories about what he’d been telling us about each other (such as that I was only his platonic friend) and how he had lied to both of us. All bets were off and we dished up all the dirt about him, which felt great. I remember thinking to myself, “If only the bastard could hear this!” But most of all, it was comforting to know we were in the same boat.
- We proved sisterhood isn’t dead. It’s become such a cliche for women to fight over the same guy instead of taking it out on the cheating bastard who is to blame for everything. It was great that this didn’t happen to me. The other woman and I didn’t say one negative or insulting thing to each other throughout that one-hour-long phone conversation. We knew it would be silly. We didn’t even know each other and it wouldn’t have solved anything.
- I could finally stop blaming myself. Being cheated on sucks. It destroyed my self-esteem and even though I knew my ex was a big wanker, this didn’t stop me from fearing that I could have done something to prevent being cheated on. I started to think up all my faults and how they could have possibly contributed to his betrayal. Exhausting. Hearing from the other woman about how she’d been cheated on showed me how I wasn’t the first or last person he would do this to. The problem was him, not me. I could stop torturing myself for someone else’s crappy choices.
- I saw how much worse my situation could have been. Surprisingly, the other woman decided to stay with the loser. She told me she had two kids that were depending on him and she had uprooted her whole life for him. She cried on the phone, saying he was her whole life. Months later, I saw on Facebook that they even got hitched. I felt sorry for her. About a year or two after that, I saw they got divorced and he’d moved on to someone else, leaving her and her kids behind. Her story showed me how much worse my situation could have been. I didn’t have kids. I didn’t make him my whole life. I could easily get over him. I was so grateful to have had a lucky escape.