Woman Accidentally Pooed Herself On Date’s Floor And He Kicked It Thinking It Was Mud

A woman on TikTok has revealed perhaps the most embarrassing dating story ever. Ken, who goes by @ken.eurich on the video platform, revealed that she was feeling ill but decided to go out with a guy anyway. However, things went downhill when she accidentally pooed herself all over his floor… and that was just the beginning of the horrors!


Happy Monday

♬ original sound – Ken Eurich

  1. Tip: if you’re sick, cancel your date until you’re feeling better. Ken learned this lesson the hard way, but she felt it was important (and hilarious) to share it with her followers. “On Friday, I threw up four times. I was super sick. Didn’t feel good. And this guy kept asking me to come over and I was like: ‘No, I don’t really feel good.’ He was like: ‘No, come over, I’ll make you soup.’ So, yesterday I make the trip to his home. I do not feel good and I tell him that.” She did go over and eat the soup, but then things got worse.
  2. Ken got sick on the guy’s floor. She went on to reveal that her stomach felt incredibly nauseous after she ate the date’s soup, leaving her squatting on the floor, leaning over a bucket to throw up. Then she farted and realized she accidentally pooed herself.
  3. Her date kicked the poo. Literally kicked it. Realizing that she’d literally just crapped herself at her date’s house, Ken freaked out. “Oh my god I nearly just s*** myself, I’m going to go to the bathroom.’ And I come back, and he kicks something on the floor thinking it’s mud. That’s what he said. We all know where this story is going. It wasn’t mud. I straight up sharted on his floor.”
  4. He was a “true gentleman.” Ken revealed that when her date realized what had truly happened, he actually responded incredibly well and “cleaned it up, like a true gentleman.” She was really embarrassed but he handled it well enough so the evening was saved… or so she thought.
  5. The next morning, things got even worse. Ken said she woke up the following day feeling really good, but when she and her date started play-fighting, she realized she wasn’t doing all that well after all. “I’m sitting on his bed, we’re laughing, horsing around before I leave, and he hits me. I kind of tooted when he hit me. And I would love to tell you that this was just a little innocent toot,” she recalled. “I full blown s*** myself. And when I say s*** myself, I mean all through my pajamas, all down my leg, all over this man’s bed, on his wall. I shouldn’t be laughing about it. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to recover from it.”

I don’t think any of us can ever complain about a bad date again.

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill