To Any Woman Who’s Been Screwed Over By Someone She Loved

It’s never any fun to get screwed over, especially by someone that you’ve dedicated so much time, love, and energy to. Unfortunately, it happens to the best of us, so don’t let it eat you up. Let your heart heal and keep these things in mind:

  1. You’re not the one who needs to change.Your breakup wasn’t your fault, so don’t waste your time trying to figure out where you went wrong. If anyone needs to change, it’s the man you loved. If he was stupid enough to hurt someone like you, he needs some major personality adjustments.
  2. You couldn’t have seen it coming.You might feel like a fool for trusting him, but love can make you blind. It’s impossible to notice red flags when all you want to see is beauty. So don’t beat yourself up over it.
  3. Love means taking risks.You can’t date without putting your heart on the line. Yes, you could end up with another broken heart in the future — or you could end up with everything you’ve ever wanted. Big risks come with big rewards.
  4. He wasn’t your sole source of happiness.Now that you’re single again, there’ll be plenty of family members and friends checking in on you, proving that you’re not alone. You can be happy without him. Just wait and see.
  5. Don’t close yourself off.You shouldn’t be afraid to love again, because your future relationships won’t always end the same way your last one did. Don’t let your ex win. If you become a hermit, you’re only hurting yourself.
  6. It won’t always feel this painful.Right now, you might feel like your entire world is crashing down around you. However, in a few years, or maybe even a few months, you’ll be just as happy as you used to be. In fact, without your a-hole ex, you’ll be even happier.
  7. It’s better that you know who he really is.It’s best to find out your partner’s true intentions as early as possible. That way, you won’t end up wasting any more years with him. Be happy that you got out now, while you’re still young.
  8. This doesn’t mean you’re unlovable.Just because one person didn’t realize how amazing you were, it doesn’t mean that everyone else will follow suit. Not all men are the same. You’ll find that out eventually.
  9. It’s an experience you needed to have.You’re one step closer to finding the love of your life now that you know what not to look for in a partner. Getting screwed over can teach you what types of men to stay away from, which means it’s all uphill from here.
  10. Don’t settle in the future.Don’t let your ex’s attitude shake your confidence. Keep your standards high. Search for a boyfriend who would never dream of screwing you over like your ex has.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.