Am I The Only Woman Out There Who Wants A Real Relationship Anymore?

Am I The Only Woman Out There Who Wants A Real Relationship Anymore? ©iStock/pixelfit

I’m starting to feel like the odd girl out when it comes to love. It seems as if everyone around me is more interested in hooking up and hanging out than building something real. Am I seriously the only woman left out there who still wants a real relationship?

  1. I’m not interested in participating in hookup culture. Everyone else on the planet might feel that cool and casual about sex but I don’t. Any man or woman is free to live out their sex lives as they see fit, but my sex life is saved for love, commitment, and real relationships. Hookup culture might be the new way of the new world, but on this issue, I’m staying in the past.
  2. I feel like standards keep getting lower and lower. What is boyfriend material, exactly? It’s starting to feel like “boyfriend material” doesn’t even matter anymore because other girls aren’t looking for boyfriends and men aren’t looking for girlfriends. They’re looking for almost-relationships with no labels, and no labels mean no clear definition. The lower the standards go, the less lucky a man is to treat me right…
  3. I’m still picky when it comes to dating. I’m not desperate, which means I’m not looking for any guy; I’m looking for THE guy. I don’t just want someone to pass the time; I want something real and that means I have to be picky. I want a man who has his act together and I want to actually feel a spark. I just wish I had the comfort of knowing more people want those same things. In my opinion, we should all be picky. That’s how you find the right guy.
  4. I don’t want just sex. I want love, but most of the time it feels as if I’m the only one. I can admit that I’m more old-fashioned than most when it comes to sex. I’ve never had a one-night stand and I’ve never slept with a man I didn’t love. I can count my sexual partners on one hand. I’m not judging others, I just wish I had more women I could confide in on the fact that for me, sex is only appealing if I’m in love.
  5. I’m afraid of people who are afraid of commitment. I don’t understand people who don’t want to find love. Being happily single is one thing — I’m happy on my own, but that doesn’t mean I’d turn away from love if it came knocking at my door. If I’m lucky enough to find a man who loves me and who I love back, then commitment could never scare me away. In fact, I’m more afraid of the regret I’d feel if I didn’t at least give the relationship a shot.
  6. I really do want to get married. Why is that such a bad thing? It’s not the only thing I want out of life, but it is on the list. I feel like for some reason, the desire to get married has become old-fashioned. It’s as if wanting someone to grow old with means I’m not an independent woman. I’m strong on my own, but I still believe that two heads are better than one and I’d be stronger with a true life partner by my side.
  7. I want a man I can build a future with. Other people might be fine with wasting time on casual “relationships” but I’m not. I don’t want to spend my precious time on a man I can’t imagine having an actual future with. I don’t want to simply live in the present with a temporary relationship. I want something real and I want to be with a man that I could love not just today or tomorrow, but forever.
  8. I’m happily single, but that doesn’t mean I want to stay single. I’m not going to stay in my comfort zone forever. I don’t want the fear of heartbreak to hold me back. My life is good, but love could make it even better. I’m happy on my own but I have the potential to be happy with someone else too. Falling in love might be risky, but that’s just one risk I’m willing to take, even if I’m the only one.
  9. My girlfriends might be cool with casual, but that doesn’t mean I have to be. I won’t just follow suit. I’m not going to conform to the pressures of this casual dating society. When it comes to the possibility of falling in love, I’m still serious. No matter how many of my friends give up something real and settle for almost-relationships, FWBs or anything in between, I won’t change my mind.
  10. I still believe in true love. Maybe I’m a sucker for a fairytale, but I’d rather be optimistic about my life than think I’m meant for no one. Other women might be cool with casual dating, but I still want more than that. I want something real. I want a man who can love me for a lifetime and I want to love someone just as hard back. The world might be giving up on love, but I’m one woman who never will, no matter how many times I fall and fail.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.