We live in a culture that’s driven by sex. Sex influences our buying and selling, our humor and anecdotes, and it is present in the back of our minds even when we have more pressing matters at the forefront. Throughout history, the stereotype is that men are the ones with the dirtiest minds, while women are these virtuous flowers who rarely have thoughts about such impure things. That’s why some of us are so glad 1950 is over and the world is starting to realize that plenty of women have dirty minds, as well.
Men AND women tend to think we’re crass and/or promiscuous. When you’re in mixed company and one of the guys tells a dirty joke, usually all the guys laugh and only some of the women (those of us who are relaxed enough to appreciate the humor). Then there are the uber-feminine ladies who act just as innocent as they’re “supposed” to be. They’ll probably give you some strange looks, but just shrug it off. I heard that the ’50s just called and they want their uptight prudes back.
We hear every possible innuendo. The cable guy says, “I’m here to fix the problem in your bedroom” and we immediately burst out laughing in our heads, but we try to maintain our composure. We don’t know this guy, so we keep our thoughts to ourselves, but it’s so hard not to laugh out loud as soon as we hear a line like that.
It’s even worse when the boss says something that sounds dirty. He introduces the visiting District Manager, saying, “We’ve been planning this for a long time. I’m so glad he finally came.” We want to jump out of our chairs and say, “That’s what she said!” but we can’t. It’s so hard! (That’s what she said.)
Guys start to see us as one of them rather than a potential girlfriend. It doesn’t mean they won’t try to sleep with us, but it does mean that they may not see us as serious girlfriend material (which makes absolutely no sense, because we’re awesome). I can’t confirm this rumor, but I’ve heard there are guys who like dirty-minded vixens. Let’s hope it’s true.
We sometimes give the wrong impression that we’re easy. It’s not because we’re trying to hide who we really are, it’s because we don’t want to give the wrong impression. If we say every joke or line that pops into our heads, we worry that the guy will assume sex is guaranteed and immediately downgrade from date to potential one-time hookup. Making dirty jokes doesn’t mean we want to have sex with you, it just means that we enjoy making dirty jokes.
Our parents don’t know what to do with us. We’re so different from them, in a way that was considered disgraceful in their generation. They’re not sure we even share the same DNA sometimes. They love us, of course (we hope), but they probably spend an inordinate amount of time wishing we’d turned out more like them.
We’re trying to meet someone who will laugh with us, not at us. It’s easy to spot the difference between someone laughing with you because your dirty joke was awesome and someone laughing at you because they think you’re a weirdo. We enjoy making people laugh, but we specifically want the good kind of laughter.