We have all our ducks in a row and are bossing our lives, so we won’t just settle for any guy who comes along with a pulse. You’ll need to be a certain kind of man to stand out above all the rest if you want to keep up with us. If you want a fighting chance in our lives, you’d better make sure you don’t turn us off with these terrible qualities:
- Crappy communication skills. It’s not just about your texting abilities (although those are important too) — we won’t put up with crappy communicators or men who shut down when there’s an issue in the relationship. We want to talk and work things out like mature adults should. If you suck at handling the concept of mature communication, we won’t stick around long before we get sick of your BS.
- Instability. A man who’s struggling a bit is one thing, but a guy who’s all over the map with no sense of stability in his life is a man who’s definitely not in the same league. We’ve got our act together, and we want a guy who’s in the same boat. If you’re constantly getting fired from your jobs and have eviction notices in the mailbox, we probably won’t be interested in getting involved.
- Party boy lifestyles. There’s nothing more unappealing to a grown woman than a man who party hops on weekends and brags about his VIP bottle services or how many chicks were all over him all weekend. These stats might have impressed us years ago (but probably not), but we’ve come along ways since then and we have no intention of going backwards in our kickass lives.
- An outdated, misogynistic view of women. We’ve built a solid foundation all on our own and we’re not into becoming Stepford wives who only walk around barefoot and pregnant, baking cookies in the kitchen. We may want to be mothers and a wives someday, but we also want to maintain our independence, our career goals and anything else we’ve been doing to command our lives. Guys who think women should be obedient and serving of men are men who she won’t even think twice about dating. Sorry, not sorry.
- Beating around the bush. Much like we’re turned off by bad communicators, we also won’t put up with guys who can’t get to the point. We don’t have time for guys who lead us on or who make vague promises they have no intentions of following through on. If you want to go out with us, say so clearly. If you have to cancel on plans, get right to the point. Don’t beat around the bush and try and tip toe around our feelings.
- Disgusting bachelor habits. If your toilet hasn’t seen a brush in months, we’ll notice and be completely grossed out. We’ve got our act together enough not to live in a pile of filth. At the very least, you should tidy up if you want to impress us with your place, too. You don’t need to have a fancy home, you just need to be somewhat clean. Plus, it’s pretty gross if you don’t own a sponge.
- Clingy behavior. Neediness will put us off because we seriously need and value our alone time. It’s flattering that you constantly want to see us and talk to us, but we’re used to being on our own and handling ourselves, so too much too soon really throws us off. Slowly easing into our lives instead of bombarding us all at once is a safer way to approach things if you don’t want us to feel smothered.
- Casanovas with all the smooth lines. Your crappy lines don’t work on us — we’ve heard them all. We can smell a player from a mile away and we know what you’re up to (it’s never anything good). If you want to talk to us, do it normally. You don’t need to candy coat your opening.
- Lack of ambition. As much as we’d love to have someone to share our lives with, we also don’t want to become a babysitter. Having your own set of priorities and a good sense of ambition is important to us. If you’re slacking and have no sense of direction, there’s slim chance we’ll be into it.