What Women With High Self-Esteem Do Differently In Relationships

What Women With High Self-Esteem Do Differently In Relationships ©iStock/jeffbergen

There are two types of women in this world: those who always need to be in a relationship and those who wait for the right person. If you’re the latter, that means you’re a super confident person. It also means that you don’t act like every other woman when you do have a boyfriend. You do things your way. Here are 10 things women with high self-esteem do differently once they find love:

1. We still want alone time.

We’re happy with ourselves the way that we are and we were happy before you came along, too. We don’t need you to be stuck to our hip 24/7 – actually, that’s our idea of a total nightmare. We want time to catch up on our fave shows and nights out with our girlfriends. If you’ve never dated a confident girl before, this might be a shock. We’ll never whine and complain that you want to see your friends – of course you do. We’re basically the opposite of a needy, dependent girlfriend.

2. We want to actually spend time with you.

It seems like people have this idea that confident women are so independent they never want to see their boyfriend. That makes zero sense. If we wanted that, we’d stay single. But we want to be with you, so that means, yes, we want to hang out with you. Even if we’re just making a low-key dinner together and chatting about our days, that’s cool. Our relationship doesn’t have to be made up of fancy dinners out or swanky parties.

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4. We expect you to respect us.

Seems reasonable, right? Yet we’ve had so many bad relationships that this is number one on our list. Just because we can take care of ourselves doesn’t mean we don’t expect a lot from you. We still want you to respect us and treat us properly. We won’t be like all the girls who stand for crappy behavior because they’re desperate to call someone their boyfriend. If we call you our BFF, it’s because we feel a real connection and want to see where it goes, and we want you to be a part of our lives.

5. We refuse to be humiliated.

If you don’t show up when we’re throwing a birthday party or insult us in front of our best friends, we’re not going to see you anymore. Other people might make excuses for you and be cool with it, but sorry, that’s not us. We won’t let our boyfriends embarrass us in public or even in private.

6. We post zero relationship selfies.

OK, maybe one or two every once and a while. But we’re not into showing our love for you on social media all the time. We want to know that we have a real, lasting bond and we’re not interested in showing off to others. Why Instagram a lovely-dovey photo of the two of us when we know what we have?

7. We ignore traditional timelines.

If our relationship is strong, we’ll be glad to move in with you, even if it’s only been six months. We’ll get married after only a year or be happy with our common-law status forever. Basically, we do what we want, and as long as the two of us are making our own decisions, we won’t listen to outside pressure from friends, family or society.

8. We support you 100 percent.

If you want to change jobs or even careers, we’ll be right there, cheering you on. If you want to take a course or indulge a hobby, we’ll be happy. You don’t have to worry about us whining that you’re taking time away from our relationship. We don’t think that it’s a competition.

9. We don’t care what others think.

You don’t belong to us, you’re not our property, you’re not there simply for our amusement or entertainment. If you show us respect, we’ll show you the same, and we want to get to know you as a real person. We’re not in this relationship for show. It means a lot to us and we’re not concerned with what other people are going to think about our romance. If they want to judge, let them.

10. We won’t force you to be one of the girls.

We don’t think it’s too much to ask that you actually like our friends (or at least pretend to). But don’t worry, we won’t invite you to girls’ night out or make you watch The Real Housewives with us. That’s just weird.

11. We get excited about the little things.

We want romance as much as the next girl but we don’t want a pressure-filled relationship. Instead, we’ll settle for the little moments that make us a beautiful couple. If you bring us our favorite take-out pizza when we’re working late, or you surprise us with tickets to that singer we’re currently obsessing over, we’ll basically love you forever.

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.