26 Women Share The Dumbest Excuses Men Have Given To Avoid Wearing A Condom

When you’re having sex with someone, especially someone you’re not in a monogamous long-term relationship with, wearing a condom is a no-brainer. Not only is it extremely effective in preventing pregnancy, but it also protects you from STDs. Sadly, many guys are against the idea and will come up with the craziest reasons to avoid using one. This week, women took to Reddit to share some of the dumbest excuses men have given them to avoid wearing a condom, and there are some real gems here.

  1. “My balls don’t fit.” Yes, someone legitimately said this. Never mind the fact that anyone with a base level of common sense knows that you don’t include your balls when wearing a condom. The guy was either being legitimately obtuse or he really is dim, in which case, he probably wasn’t a very good lay anyway…
  2. “I don’t need it because I don’t sleep with sluts.” u/ZcalifornianusSelkie jokingly added that she resisted the urge to respond with “You’re trying to sleep with me.” How he thought this was a good thing to say is beyond me.
  3. “I can’t wear condoms, and I have a method where I sleep with a girl for 3 months and then move on. I am completely faithful in those three months, so you don’t need me to wear a condom.” Yep, this one didn’t work. Not only does it make no sense, but it’s also not a great method of prevention for, well, anything.
  4. “So you don’t trust me?” Talk about a red flag! Any guy who tries to avoid wearing a condom by gaslighting you into believing that you’re in the wrong for wanting him to is a toxic mess. If anyone ever says this to you, please run away VERY quickly.
  5. Low sperm count While yes, condoms are a good way (though certainly not a failproof one) to prevent pregnancy, trying to get away with not wearing a condom by claiming that your sperm isn’t all that powerful anyway is a hot mess.
  6. “My d–k is too small. A condom would just slip off and get lost inside you.” I’m pretty sure condoms come in all different sizes, so I’m sure someone could sort you out with a good one.
  7. “It’s okay, I know I’m the only one that wants to have sex with you.” Wow. The idea that anyone would actually want to sleep with a guy who says something like this is absolutely bonkers, but the fact that a guy would actually think this would get him out of wearing a condom is a whole other level.
  8. “It hurts my d–k.” Looks like you’re wearing the wrong size condom, bro. Thankfully, there are several different sizes to choose from.
  9. “It’ll look stupid.” u/space_Cadet198_7 revealed that a man hadn’t said this to her but to her aunt, whose husband used this excuse. To be honest, who’s looking at your junk when you’re wearing a condom? It’s not even visible given, you know, it should be inside of a woman. What a dumb thing to say.
  10. “Condoms always break for me I don’t trust them.” u/Senrik revealed a stranger looking to hook up said this to her believing she would be fine with it. She wasn’t. If your condoms are always breaking, again, you’re wearing the wrong size.
  11. “I smoke too much weed so I’m pretty sure I’m infertile.” What some guys don’t seem to understand is that wearing a condom is hardly just about preventing pregnancy. It’s also about preventing STDs, and you can smoke all the weed in the world and still be riddled with them. Come on, now.
  12. “It’ll come between us and ruin the intimacy.” Yes, the whole point of wearing a condom is to come between you and protect both of you. If that ruins the intimacy, you’re not doing it right.
  13. His religion said he wasn’t allowed. If that’s the case, then surely your religion would bar you from having sex outside of wedlock too?
  14. “I never use a condom and no woman has ever gotten pregnant.” Good for you! However, it only takes once and again, wearing a condom isn’t just about preventing pregnancy. I’d rather not take my chances either way, thanks.

More stupid ways guys have tried to get out of wearing a condom

  1. “If we use a condom, we’re not actually having sex.” What’s the logic at play here? How on earth does wearing a condom completely cancel out the act of having sex? Not wearing a condom and me not sleeping with you means we’re also not having sex, so there’s that.
  2. They turn him off and even the sight of them make him lose his erection. This is just too dumb to even address. That sounds like someone that needs to go talk to a professional therapist and work through his issues.
  3. “It makes my balls itchy.” To be fair, it’s possible that he’s allergic to something in the condom, like the latex or the coating on it. However, there are alternatives if this is the case. Claiming that wearing a condom is impossible for this reason, however, is not gonna fly.
  4. “I had a vasectomy.” u/Inj4ll revealed that the man had not, in fact, had a vasectomy and that her friend got pregnant and ended up keeping the baby. Yikes!
  5. “I care about what I put in and on my body, and you’re trying to take away my right as a man to choose.” Oh God, one of these guys. By all means, if a man ever tries to make this kind of argument, get away as fast as you can. It’s in your best interest.
  6. “But it’s my birthday.” And? I wouldn’t consider it a gift to face an unwanted pregnancy or to contract an STD or several. That’s not how I like to celebrate milestones and I wouldn’t imagine you would either…
  7. “They’re expensive.” Yep, but you’d pay more to hire an escort, and wearing a condom would be a requirement in that situation as well, so buying a pack to get laid with the woman of your choice is actually a bit cheaper.
  8. “It’s like smelling a rose through a gas mask.” This gem, shared by u/beer_hearts, truly beggars belief. Poetic? Certainly. Sensical? Not remotely.
  9. “You won’t like it if I wear a condom.” I think I’ll be the judge of that, thanks, and I’d choose him wearing a condom anyday.
  10. He forgot it. Well, hopefully he’ll remember it next time. Maybe then you’ll be able to have sex.
  11. “I’ve been treated for every STD anyway so I’m immune.” Uhhh… not exactly a ringing endorsement for sleeping with a guy at all, let alone without him wearing a condom. Talk about terrifying. What guy in his right mind thinks this is a good excuse?
  12. “If I can’t spell it I don’t use it.” This gem, shared by u/loofzie, came from a friend of his who often used this excuse with women. Is there any bigger turn-off (besides not wearing a condom) than someone who can’t even spell such a simple word?
  13. “I won’t come.” Well he definitely won’t if he refuses to wear a condom. So long!
Sinead Cafferty is a writer who has authored four collections of poetry: "Dust Settling" (2012); "The Space Between" (2014); "Under, Under, Over" (2016); and "What You Can't Have" (2020). She's currently working on her first novel, a dystopian romance set in the 22nd Century, that's due out in 2024.

Sinead has an MFA in creative writing from NYU and has had residencies with the Vermont Studio Center and the National Center for Writing.