If You’re Wondering Whether He’s Into You, Maybe You Shouldn’t Be Into Him

If You’re Wondering Whether He’s Into You, Maybe You Shouldn’t Be Into Him ©iStock/PeopleImages

It can be super tempting to focus on whether a new guy is truly into you. You’ve been through enough almost relationships and ghosting situations to want to know if it’s real before you get too attached. Everyone likes to be liked — it’s basically a law of dating — but the most important thing isn’t if he likes you, it’s how you actually feel. If you’re asking whether he likes you, have you asked yourself the same question?

  1. Do you feel like yourself with him? A guy could be head over heels for you and it wouldn’t matter if you were pretending to be a different person or hiding your real personality. If you can’t talk about what matters to you or be your true sarcastic self, he’s not the right guy.
  2. Does he make you laugh? Humor is super important, especially in a new relationship. Things are occasionally awkward and confusing and if you can both laugh your way through it, you’ll not only bond but stop taking every big milestone so seriously.
  3. Does he excite you? Are you dying to make out with him on a regular basis? Does even the thought of touching him make you feel sick (in a good way)? Do you have interesting convos? Are you always super excited to talk to him?
  4. Is your life is more interesting with him in it? Of course you already have an amazing life. You’ve got your best friends, a career that seems to get better on a daily basis, and you’re interested in a ton of different things. But if this guy doesn’t bring something new to your already awesome, crowded life, he doesn’t need to be in it. Period.
  5. Is he a man-child or a man? Why would you like him back if he’s the most immature person you’ve ever met? He could shower you with affection and emoji-filled text messages and yet his mom still does his laundry and cooks his meals. Stop wondering how he feels and start focusing on the fact that he wants you to put all the effort in because that’s what he’s used to.
  6. Is he moving forward with his life? Some guys think that caring about the future is crazy lame, and others think that planning a Cuba trip with their bros is enough future talk. If you’re trying to figure out if a guy is into you, why not ask yourself if he’s thinking about where he wants to end up in the next few years? You’ve got big plans, so why do you even like someone who is standing still?
  7. Does everything feel easy? If you like him, you shouldn’t stress out the way you did with the losers you dated in the past. You should feel steady and stable, like everything is going to work out (even if you have no idea). Being with him should be fun and enjoyable. If it’s not, stop wondering how he feels and focus on what you’re actually thinking. And move on so you can find someone who’s actually worth it.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.