I Won’t Beg For Attention From Guys—They Can Give It Or Go Away

I could probably write about the perils of dating for the rest of my life and still find things to gripe about from beyond the grave. Currently, my biggest issue is with having to beg for attention from guys, which is pathetic but happens all too often. I refuse to allow someone who doesn’t actively focus on me to stay in my life or impact it in any way and neither should you.

  1. Time’s a-tickin’. All the time and energy spent smothering a guy with attention in hopes that he’ll reciprocate is like blowing air into a leaking balloon. Throwing attention at a guy who clearly doesn’t want it only wastes my time. I really don’t want to spend months wondering why things aren’t moving forward, especially when I’m pretty sure that I’m doing everything right. That’s time I could spend on someone actually worthy of me.
  2. I’m not a backup plan. In my experience, if the dude isn’t all about me, he’s all about someone else. I’m literally too good for someone who isn’t sure about me. Sure, figuring out that I’m a runner-up in someone’s life is sad and kind of confidence squishing, but guess what? You get over it. What you don’t get over is actually being with someone and knowing you weren’t the first option.
  3. It’s disrespectful AF. Once upon a time, there was a guy who was super into me. Then, when I started being super into him in return, he went colder than the ice caps. He’d check in on my social media but wouldn’t answer my messages for days, sometimes a week. Through all this crap, I still tried. I texted, laid off, checked in on his social (the whole “I’m watching you watch me so now you have no excuse” type of thing) but he still wouldn’t acknowledge me until it was convenient for him. With today’s technology, no one should have to get tactical to pry an answer from someone. There’s ‘playing the game’ and then there’s just being a jerk.
  4. I’m tired of looking dumb. Girls laugh at thirsty guys all the time so I know they’re doing the same to us. And when I have to go all FBI to get a guy to answer, I know he’s making fun of me to his friends or himself. Either way, I don’t like it. I’ve often wondered if some guys think it’s fun to push girls to see how far we’ll go before we break. Is it some kind of payback for girls expecting guys to put in effort when trying to date us?
  5. Men are glorified meat sacks. Harsh but whatever. I’ve realized that there’s no one on earth that is worth trying to prove to them that I’m good enough. Certainly, no man is that fabulous. Why do us women put so much stock into men? I feel like 98% of the conversations I have with my girlfriends revolve around guys. What I can’t wrap my head around, is why we give that gender so much of our energy. We build men up almost God-like, giving them this invisible power over our minds. We channel our whole energies into a blind desire for certain men to love us and give us the attention we crave. It’s insane.
  6. Things won’t change. If it takes that much effort to get the guy interested in me, it’s probably going to take that much effort to keep him interested. Having to be on my game for an entire relationship sounds exhausting and disappointing. Men who are this blase offer nothing to women or the world in general.
  7. He’s not the right person. There’s only one piece of cheesy advice I hold true in my heart: that with the right person, things will be easy, one of those easy things being me not having to guess how he feels about me. The wrong person will see my efforts and not care. With the wrong person, even my absolute best won’t be good enough. Trying to keep the wrong person in my life just because I want him to be the right person is mentally toxic.
  8. I’m not crazy for wanting to be treated right. For some reason, guys are shocked when I give up after basically being ignored. They sniff me out, coming out of the woodwork specifically to drive me nuts with all the attention they suddenly give me. But when I lose my shit asking why the hell he thought now, only after I’ve been ignoring him, he removes his head from his backside and is all about me again. That’s not how this works.
  9. I’m not here to stroke egos. If a guy just wants someone around to fawn over him, he should probably go hire a hooker. I have my own self-esteem to build up. I won’t crumble over keeping someone around who doesn’t care about actually being with me or wanting to make me happy.
Lost my mind & left the corporate world to roll around the contiguous US doing 3 things: 1) Help eCommerce brands grow through on-site marketing. 2) Seek life-changing vegan dishes. 3) Attempt to get a grip on this disaster called 'my early twenties'.