I Won’t Beg You To Be My Boyfriend

I Won’t Beg You To Be My Boyfriend ©iStock/Sjale

I’m not going to beg you to be my boyfriend. I’ve got an amazing life all on my own and I don’t need a guy to complete my life. You’re cute and charming and piqued my interest, but whether or not I get to go out on a date with you isn’t actually that important to me, so don’t act like you’re doing me a favor by dating me.

  1. I don’t mind being single. Dating you isn’t a step up from single life. It’s just a different kind of life. So don’t think that you’re saving me from some miserable existence where I’m constantly swiping through Tinder and crying into ice cream all day.
  2. You’re not God’s greatest gift to mankind. Like it or not, you’re not nearly as amazing as you think you are. You have your flaws, so don’t act like you’re a big shot. There are plenty of men out there who are just as gorgeous and generous as you are, believe me.
  3. I don’t need your pity. I only want you to date me if you like me as much as I like you. If you’re with me, because you feel bad for me or because you want someone to treat like your servant, then feel free to leave. I don’t need that crap.
  4. I don’t owe you anything. If you think you’re doing me a favor by dating me, that probably means you think I owe you sex or some other form of payment. Well, that’s not happening. I’m only going to sleep with you if I want to sleep with you–not to repay some BS debt.
  5. You’re not the ultimate boyfriend. It’s nice that you hold open doors for me and offer me your jacket when I’m cold, but that doesn’t mean you’re something special. Believe it or not, you’re not amazing for treating me decently. It’s what you’re supposed to do.
  6. Dating me isn’t a chore. If it feels like it is, then please break up with me. I don’t want to bother you and your precious ego. I’d rather find someone who actually appreciates what I have to give.
  7. We’re meant to be on the same page. I want to date my equal. If you think you’re doing me a favor by dating me, then you obviously think of yourself as the superior one. I don’t need a man who’s that cocky.
  8. I deserve the best. And if you’re acting like dating me is such hard work, then you’re clearly not what’s best for me. That means that I won’t be sticking around for long. Sorry.
  9. Relationships should be about love. They shouldn’t be about keeping score, so that you have some sort of power over me. I’m not willing to play those pointless games. If you don’t want me, then don’t date me.
  10. I have plenty of options. There are millions of men out there who would be more than happy to date me. If you don’t treat me right, then I have no problem leaving you to try my luck with one of them. So you better get your act together or I’m getting in my car.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.