If He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend, He Doesn’t Deserve You

Dating without labels is fine for a while, but after a while, most couples decide to make things “official.” It’s a big step, but a necessary one for many people to know where they stand with their partner. A little bit of hesitation might be expected if you’re dating a commitmentphobe, but if he’s flat-out refusing to make you his girlfriend, this is why you need to get rid of him:

  1. If he’s not claiming it, he’s not committed to it. If a guy can’t call you his GF, then he’s clearly not interested in a real relationship and a possible future with you. It’s better to end things ASAP rather than waiting around so he can decide if he’s really ready for a serious partnership.
  2. He’s keeping his options openBy holding back from giving you the title of his girlfriend, he’s keeping himself open to the possibility of other women and romantic opportunities. Never settle for being someone’s option when you should be his priority.
  3. Something’s holding him back. If you’ve been dating for weeks, he refuses to make it official, but he still acts like your BF, you have to wonder what’s going through his head. It may be that he loves the chase more than the relationship or shuns commitment. But whatever the case, you shouldn’t let his issues prevent you from getting what you want and deserve in a relationship.
  4. He’s taking you for granted. It’s quite convenient for him to have you in his life without needing to make a commitment. It’s screwed up, really: He can just have you there without needing to invest in you. The guy’s not the real deal, and he’s not worthy of being in your life or your heart.
  5. He’s not sure of the relationship… or so he says. If you confront him about why he can’t call you his GF and he gives you the lame excuse that he’s not sure where things are going, check the calendar. If you’ve spent a few weeks dating exclusively, then what the hell is he on about? If he doesn’t know what he wants from you by now, he never will.
  6. He’s only in it for now. By not making things official, the guy is making it clear that he’s just with you for when it suits him. He doesn’t have to think ahead about the future because he doesn’t even know if he’ll be around to spend it with you. He’s all about himself and doing what he wants. Your needs matter, too.
  7. He’d be open with you if he really wanted you. A mysterious guy might be sexy, but that appeal will go away in a flash if he leaves you wondering where the hell he stands on things. A guy who’s really into you will want to be open about his feelings and intentions as soon as possible, saving himself from getting his ass dumped.
  8. You shouldn’t be waiting aroundYou really don’t need to stick with a guy who doesn’t call you his girlfriend, especially if your gut is telling you you’ve waited enough for him already. You deserve nothing less than a guy who wants to be with you and doesn’t shy away from commitment.
  9. Words matter. It doesn’t matter if he shows you how special you are to him. You need to hear him say that you’re his girlfriend unless you always want to have that doubt lingering in the back of your mind. If he can’t say the words, then he clearly doesn’t believe them. Is that the sign of a man you really want to be with?
  10. It’s not just a private matter. A guy who wants to keep you around, but doesn’t want to commit might call you his girlfriend when you’re alone, but stay silent on the matter when he introduces you to other people. Don’t accept it: He should be calling you his GF no matter where you are or who you’re with. He has to show you that he’s completely in this relationship, and if he can’t say that word, then he can’t have you.
  11. Pressuring him won’t help. You might think that putting a bit of pressure on the guy to tell you that you’re his official partner will get him to make it clear, but this could actually make things worse. Besides, it’s not your job to try to persuade him. He’s a grown man who should be able to make these decisions on his own. The only thing you need to worry about is getting the hell away from him if he can’t make that choice.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.