If You Won’t Date Him Because Of These Things, Sorry, But You’re The Problem

You want a great guy, and you’re not about to settle for anything less than the best. That’s generally a good thing, but there’s a difference between the best and impossible. If you’re dumping guys for every stupid little thing, it might just mean your standards are too high. If you rule a guy out for doing these things, it’s time for a reality check:

  1. He disagrees with you sometimes. Why would you want a “yes” man all the time? You want honesty in a relationship, right? A guy has his own mind and opinions. As long as he respects your opinions, there’s not a problem. Stop getting your thong in a wad every time he doesn’t enthusiastically agree with you.
  2. He has a life outside of you. Guys shouldn’t have to drop their lives just because you’ve decided to grace them with your presence. Are you leaving your life behind when you start dating a guy? Hell no! Your standards are too high if you expect a guy to be at your beck and call 24/7. He had a life before you, and he deserves to still have it. As long as he’s making plenty of time for you, you should be happy.
  3. He has different interests than you. Oh no! He likes rock music and you like pop — what ever will you do? Differing interests happen. He shouldn’t have to forget about his interests and dive into yours just because he’s dating you. Wouldn’t you rather have a guy who’s confident and comfortable being who he is instead of a guy who just changes into what you want all the time? Wait, don’t answer that.
  4. He wants to take care of you. It’s fine to be an independent woman, but give it a rest already. If a guy wants to open your door or hand you his jacket when you’re cold, smile and accept. He’s not trying to take away your independence. He’s just trying to do small, nice things to show you he cares. Would you rather him treat you like crap?
  5. He screws up once in a while. Guys are going to screw up. So do women. How often are you on time or remember do everything on your to-do list? Stuff happens — get over it. If you’re ready to dump a guy the moment he makes a minor mistake, you need to rethink your standards. You could do far worse, and if you keep pushing away these imperfect guys, you probably will start meeting worse ones.
  6. He likes to save money — in other words, he’s a little cheap. Obviously, you want a guy who can take care of himself financially. That’s a great standard to have. What makes that standard too high is if you can’t handle a guy who likes to save money. So what if he wants to eat at place where it’s just $15 a person versus $75? As long as the food’s good and you’re having a great time, who cares what it costs? This is a guy who knows how to manage money, so don’t push him away.
  7. He enjoys spending time with his friends. So, you think a guy should spend all of his time with you? What about his friends? They want to spend time with him, too. Getting pissed and saying a guy’s not good enough just because he wants to spend an evening with his friends sometimes means your standards are too high. He doesn’t need to be attached to your hip all the time. Space is good for both of you — you need time with your girls, anyway.
  8. He has female friends. This is a dealbreaker for far too many women. If you can’t trust a guy with female friends,  you’re probably going to always be single. Guys are going to have other women in their lives. It’s okay. Meet his female friends and see what kind of vibe they put off. It’s pretty easy to see if anything’s going on or not.
  9. He not-so subtly adjusts his junk. Women are lucky — everything downstairs pretty much stays in place. Guys aren’t so lucky. Those sensitive bits shuffle about and get pinched in his jeans and it hurts. As much as he may want to be a gentleman, he’s kind of attached to the family jewels. Don’t freak out if he quickly adjusts himself. Unless he’s all-out groping himself and grinning at you, he’s still a decent guy.
  10. He farts sometimes. Are you perfect? You never sound the horn or call wild animals with your mighty belches alone? Your standards are too high if you think guys should never burp or fart. It’s going to happen. As much as they try to hold back, sometimes things sneak out. That’s just how biology works.
  11. He prefers couch surfing to the gym. You may want a guy who has a perfect six-pack and can lift you against a wall while giving you one incredible orgasm after another, but that kind of physique takes work. As long as he’s healthy, who cares if he likes the sport of couch surfing versus professional weight lifting? Do you look like a Victoria’s Secret model or an adult sex movie star? See, neither one of you are 100% perfect. Lower the standards a bit and you might see far more guys who meet your criteria.
  12. He’s not crazy about vegetables. It seems like everyone’s on a health food kick, but that doesn’t mean you should dump a guy because he’d rather have his salad on top of a juicy burger versus blended into green goo in a cup. While it might be difficult to make things work if one of you is a vegan and the other isn’t, for the most part, just accept that everyone has their own taste in food.
  13. He can’t always call or text back immediately. You shouldn’t have a timer set to see how long it takes for him to call or text you back. Do you realize how crazy it is to dump a guy because he didn’t text back within ten minutes? Maybe he’s at work, driving, in a crowded place where he didn’t hear his phone, or somewhere else that made it impossible for him to respond. Ignoring you for hours or days on end is one thing, but having to wait 20 minutes until he’s out of a work meeting is entirely another. Relax.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.