I definitely want to find someone to love for the rest of my life, but I’m genuinely busy AF and have stuff to do. It doesn’t matter how much I might like you or how amazing you make me feel — until we start to get really serious, I need to make sure my stuf stays handled and not neglect my priorities just because I’m dating a great guy. I’ll be an amazing girlfriend, but I won’t drop my life for you and I shouldn’t have to.
- I have a life outside of dating. In the absence of a relationship, I’ve found other priorities. I have friendships that I plan on maintaining and continuing to grow, a family that I love to spend time with and hobbies that make me genuinely happy. Dating someone isn’t the thing I’ve been waiting for or what defines me. I want to make someone a priority eventually, but for now, I’ve actually designed this life because I enjoy living it.
- I have responsibilities that don’t stop for any guy. Keeping my health in check and my adult responsibilities in line is hugely important to me. I won’t be calling in sick to work or sacrificing my alone time just to get face time in with you. As much as I might want to find time sooner, it’s not always possible, so please forgive me if I’m not giving you a huge chunk of my life right up front — it’s not in my nature.
- Getting my stuff done keeps me balanced. Believe me when I say you’ll want me to handle my crap before I spend time with you. Nothing makes me feel more amazing than having my life organized. Plus, when I spend time with you knowing I’ve bossed my own life first, you’ll get to enjoy the happiest version of me instead of someone who’s putting my priorities on the back burner and dealing with lingering stress as a result.
- I want our time together to be thoughtful. I want to actually plan time with you considerately. I don’t want to give you a half-assed version of me or show up tired AF, nodding off as you tell me about your childhood — that’s not fair to anyone. Instead, I’ll factor you into my life in a real way and won’t be springing any last minute plans on you.  I actually give a damn and want to look forward to spending carefully carved out time with you.
- I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. I’ve dropped my life for guys in the past and looking back, I’m really not proud of that fact. Getting my stuff together again after those things didn’t work out was exhausting on top of getting over the relationship itself ending. Besides, the right guy won’t care if I’m busy handling my crap because he’ll want me and admire me more for being the boss lady I am in my life.
- I’m not playing any games — this is legitimately my life. It’s not about playing any games with you; this is legitimately how my life is. I had crap going on before you and it’s not going away just because you’ve showed up.
- Eventually, I’ll want you to be a part of my hustle. I want things to work out, but it’s going to take some time. If you can handle who I am now, I’m going to want to merge you into my life in a real and big way eventually. If you can handle my hustle, you deserve to be part of my empire.
- Your patience will be rewarded. I need a guy in my life who understands that I can’t just drop what I’m doing and make him the first priority in my life right off the bat. I’m an adult and I have other stuff to do first. If you stick around through the struggle and wait patiently for time with me, I’ll be doing the same for you — this thing works both ways.
- I’m worth the wait. It’s hard for me to let a guy fully in right away, and as much as I’d love a whirlwind type of romance where we just get completely consumed and carried away with each other, that’s usually not how reality works. I promise that the relationship you’ll get with me is worth every moment of patience you show me. I may not be easy to get right off the bat, but I am completely worth the extra effort of anticipation.
