If You Won’t Fight For Us, Neither Will I

It hurts like hell to get dumped, but after experiencing it so many times, I’ve learned that it actually makes things easier. I’ll go through a lot to make a relationship work, but once I know a guy’s not willing to put forth the same effort, I accept that he wasn’t the right one for me in the first place. I’m not exactly thrilled about losing you, but this is why you’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to beg for you to come back:

  1. I might love you, but I love myself more. It sounds harsh, but it’s about self-preservation. No matter how much I love you and want to be with you, I need to look out for me. No one else will, after all. If you’re going to give up, I’m going to be strong and pull away, not chase you. I’m not going to hurt myself by losing my dignity.
  2. I deserve someone who’s fully committed to me. I don’t need to be with someone who is only sort of into me or only devoted when it suits him. I want a full, committed relationship, so if you can’t give that to me, it’s better that you leave me alone.
  3. I don’t want to waste my time. It’s such BS to torment myself by wondering if your feelings have changed or how I can make you stay. Yawn. That mental fight of worry and obsession doesn’t get any results, and even if I could persuade you to take another shot at the relationship, it wouldn’t feel like a victory. Deep down, I’d know that if you really loved me, you wouldn’t need persuading.
  4. People change, but I won’t change my standards. You might’ve changed your mind about me, but I’m not going to change my values and standards by trying to keep you around. I refuse to look desperate by trying to convince myself that I can change you, especially because it’ll only hurt me in the end.
  5. I prefer an ugly truth to a beautiful lie. It’s actually better if you walk away, because then I know where I stand. Yes, it’ll hurt like a bitch, but it’s going to be much less painful than if you stay and pretend to be into me.
  6. I would rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t make me happy. I’d take being single over being with the wrong guy any day of the week. I’ve spent way too much time pining over toxic guys who wasted weeks and months of my life by messing me around. So when I see that you’re changing towards me or making a beeline for the door, I’m going to let you go so I can get back to my life.
  7. There’s nothing for me to fight for. If you want to run away, I’m not going to block your exit. If you loved me, you wouldn’t be leaving — there’s nothing for me to fight for here. I’m saving my energy for someone who truly cares and would fight to make our relationship work.
  8. I know you’re doing me a huge favorAfter I get over my heartbreak, I’ll realize that you’re actually helping me out by walking away. Instead of preventing me from finding my happiness by continuing to be my boyfriend, you’re setting me free. I can go out there and find someone who’s more suitable for me. If I tried to make you stick around, I might miss out on that amazing opportunity.
  9. I know you’ll regret it. You’re the one walking away from the relationship, so chances are you’ll be the one to regret your actions. If letting you go is the worst thing I could do, I’ll be able to sleep at night. But when you do realize what a huge mistake you’ve made, don’t come crawling back to me — I’ll have already moved on.
  10. I’m not going to compete for your attention. If you’re leaving the relationship because you’ve found someone else, I’m not going to try to compete with her. I don’t need to try to prove myself or convince you about my worth. You should know how awesome I am by now, and the fact that you don’t is enough for me to want you to GTFO immediately.
  11. I want more than what you were giving me. We might have really been into each other, but the fact that your feelings changed so quickly makes me wonder if you ever really loved me. I want the kind of love that doesn’t fade and makes me a better— not bitter — person. You were just standing in the way of my happiness, so good riddance.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.