I Won’t Get Serious With A Guy Until This Happens

Meeting the family is a big step in any relationship, but I think it should happen sooner than later. I don’t want to wait until I’ve been dating a guy for months to meet the people who raised him. If I see a semblance of a future with him, I want to meet his parents before our relationship gets any more serious. Here’s why:

  1. I’ve made the mistake of NOT meeting the parents before. I dated a guy for over a year and never met his parents once. It wasn’t because he wasn’t close to his family —  he was just too shy to introduce me to them. I’m sorry, but that excuse sucks. If a relationship is going to last, meeting the parents is going to have to happen, and I’d prefer it to happen ASAP.
  2. I’m dating for potential. I’m not a teenager anymore; if I’m dating a guy, it’s for the possibility of forever, not just right now. In my experience, meeting the parents automatically makes the relationship more serious. I want the guy I’m dating to know that I’m not toying around with his emotions or his time. My intentions are pure, and I’d like to meet his parents in order for them to know that about me, too.
  3. I want insight on who he is. How was he raised? I won’t know that until I meet his parents. I want to see the town he grew up in and the people he was surrounded by. Meeting his family will show me the core of who he is. I’ll be able to gain a deeper understanding of where his ideologies come from, and knowing that before the relationship gets serious will help me connect with him more.
  4. His parents are key. I want to see the way he interacts with his family. Is he well-mannered when he’s around his parents or does he treat them the same way he treats his friends? You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks to his mom and dad. His relationship with his mom and dad will tell me some important stuff, like whether or not he’d be a good family man later on in life. Is it wrong to want to know that before I invest too much of my time?
  5. I want to know how he feels. I’ve been in relationships before where the guy doesn’t want to introduce me to his family. It’s usually because he isn’t looking for a serious relationship and doesn’t have the balls to come right out and say it. I’m done with that BS. Introducing me to his parents will show me that he thinks this relationship might actually last.
  6. We might seriously clash. My personality might not mesh with his family’s. Wouldn’t it be better to know that ahead of time? I’m not saying that has to be a dealbreaker, but it definitely might be. He may not want to be with someone his parents don’t approve of. I get it — I wouldn’t want to waste my time or his planning a future we’d never actually have together because his parents and I hate each other.
  7. They might become my family. Just in case that happens, I’d like to start building a relationship with them while we’re dating instead of waiting until we’re engaged. It might sound like I’m getting ahead of myself, but I’m the kind of person who wants family to have a role in my relationships. Meeting his parents will allow me to make connections with them on a personal level.
  8. Mom is #1. The way a man treats his mother is very important. If he’s not respectful to his mom, there’s a good chance he won’t be respectful to me. I want to be with someone who’s caring, and I’ll be able to see that side of him more when I meet his mom. If he treats his mother like a queen, I’ll be way more inclined to keep pushing the relationship forward.
  9. I want him to meet my parents, too. If I’ve been dating long enough for my parents to know his name, there’s a good chance they’ve asked about him (several times). My parents stay in my business, and they’d want to meet my boyfriend way before he officially became my boyfriend. How could they not?
  10. I don’t want to waste time. If he’s not crazy about my family and I’m not crazy about his, the relationship probably won’t go that far. Take a look at The Bachelor — most of those hometown visits end up tanking the relationship. If you’re a family-orientated person like I am, you can’t be with someone your parents aren’t absolutely obsessed with.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.