Whenever I meet a new guy I really like, I immediately want to know whether or not he’s serious about me before I get my feelings involved. Sex changes everything, so before we get down to business, I need to know that we’re on the same page. I’m definitely not taking my dress off and sleeping with him until he proves these things:
- He’ll help me out in times of need. I want to know that he’ll be there for me and help me out without me even having to ask. If I’m stuck on the side of the road and he’s hopping in his car to come to my rescue before I even have a chance to call roadside assistance, then I know that he sees me as more than just someone to sleep with.
- He’s Not Afraid to Talk About Us. If he can’t even discuss where we are or what we’re doing then he’s not getting into my pants. Before I can let my guard down, I need to know where he sees things heading. I don’t need him to pledge his love to me or even give me a commitment at this point. I just want to know that there’s an opportunity for there to be an “us” in the near future.
- He Can Hang Out Without Having Sex. I need to know that sex isn’t the only thing on his mind. If I invite him over to watch a movie and he can keep his hands to himself the entire time, he’ll definitely earn some points in my book. Sex is important, but it’s not everything. I need to know that he’s not spending time with me just because he’s horny and hoping to get laid.
- He Cares About My Everyday Life. If he doesn’t follow up with me by asking questions about my day, that’s a sign that he really doesn’t give a damn about me. It doesn’t take much to shoot a text and say, “Hey, how did that project go you were working on?” It’s the little things that count. If he’s not showing an interest in my life then I’m not going to even entertain the thought of sleeping with him.
- He can be counted on to stick around. It’s easy to be there when things are going well, but I want someone who will be there when stuff hits the fan. If he sees me as more than just sex, he’ll hang in there on my worst days. This shows me that he plans on being in my life for the long run, and it’s not only about sex to him.
- He Has Nothing to Hide. I don’t need him to give me the rundown on how he spends every single second of his life, but I do like to be clued in from time to time. If he misses my call, a simple explanation for not being able to pick up the phone will suffice. This shows me that he’s not trying to blow me off and I’m someone who’s important in his life. But until he can prove to me he has nothing to hide by letting me know what’s going on when he goes M.I.A. then we have to hold off on getting physical.
- He’s Proud to Introduce Me. If he’s looking for temporary fun or an FWB, he won’t even bother showing me off to his friends. The guy who’s not looking to hit it and quit it will want me to meet all the important people in his life. To be proud of me means he’s serious about being with me.
- He Can Plan Ahead. Last minute dates are for flings and girls who are replaceable. The occasional surprise date or outing on a short notice is fine, but if he’s trying to see me all the time without planning ahead, I already know he’s not serious about me at all.
- He’s Not Sleeping With Anyone Else. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m not about to sleep with someone who’s sleeping with someone else. This is a deal breaker for me, and it’s not open for discussion. Any guy who wants to get physical needs to reassure me that we are sexually exclusive. If he can’t even do this, or he hesitates when I bring it up, then he can forget about us sleeping together.
- He’s Not Interested in a one-night stand. I’m not looking for a one-night stand and I need to know that he feels the exact same way. The way he proves this to me can differ, but having an honest conversation is the first step. I need him to tell me he’s not interested in a hookup and act accordingly. If he’s always talking about sex or sending me unsolicited penis pics, he just blew his chances of us sealing the deal.