Certain topics tend to pop up when a guy’s really interested in you, and if your boyfriend either refuses to discuss them or gives you one-word answers when you bring them up, you’re sadly wasting your time. Here are the topics that every legit couple tackles at some point during their relationship.
- Boundaries Everyone has things they’re uncomfortable with. Don’t be fooled into thinking the guy you’re seeing is just an easygoing, go with the flow kind of person. If he’s not speaking his mind and voicing his opinion about his own personal boundaries, such as his need for privacy or how much alone time he requires, he’s probably not ready to be in a serious relationship.
- Relationship goals This one should be pretty obvious, but countless women stay in situations where a guy never even bothers to discuss his relationship goals. Don’t you want to know if the two of you are on the same page? Aren’t you curious about whether or not marriage is something he sees in his future? If so, it’s time to move on. A guy who’s thinking about his future and wants you to be involved in it will gladly talk about his relationship goals with you from the jump.
- Your family If he doesn’t care about your family dynamics and doesn’t seem too interested when you share stories about your childhood, it’s a pretty clear sign he doesn’t see the long-term potential. When a guy is head-over-heels in love, he’ll want to know the ins and outs of your life. He won’t pry for information, but he’ll ask typical questions just to gain some insight into your background. If he doesn’t care to hear about your family life and doesn’t even bring up your relatives in normal conversation, it’s time to move on.
- Exes The past is the past, but those past incidents and situations make us who we are today. Chances are, he probably has a few exes in his past. But does he squirm whenever you ask valid questions about his dating history? You shouldn’t completely write him off if he doesn’t spill his guts about the last girl who broke his heart. Some guys don’t enjoy reopening old wounds. But if you’re racking your brain trying to piece together his life story with no help from him, you’ll have to make the decision on whether you want to ride things out and potentially find out something unsavory as time passes by, or if you need to walk away.
- Views on commitment A guy who’s really serious about your relationship won’t squirm when you ask him how he really feels about commitment. He’ll gladly lay it all out for you, including his thoughts on monogamy, fidelity, and all that jazz. He won’t leave anything up to interpretation for the girl he really loves.
- Sex It doesn’t matter if you’ve slept together a million times already, an open and honest discussion about sex is one component of a happy relationship. You may know which buttons to push to get his engine revving, but you’ll never truly know how he feels about your sexual compatibility until the two of you have a serious conversation. Opening the floor to discuss topics ranging from fetishes or preferred sexual activities will ensure the two of you are really on the same page and sexually compatible.
- Religious and cultural values. It might not seem like a big deal, but having different values could definitely cause problems in a romantic partnership. When things start to heat up, it’s the perfect time to talk about religion, how often you attend church, and which holidays you celebrate. This is something most established couples tackle at some point, so if you still don’t know his religious denomination and you’re having trouble getting him to open up, he’s nothing but a time waster!
- Money If the two of you are playing house and cohabitating, money is a subject that will need to be discussed at some point. If your boyfriend is thinking about having a future with you, he won’t hesitate to talk about how much money he makes, how much debt he has, and how the two of you should split bills and various costs. Some people squirm when the topic of finances comes up, especially guys who are just looking to waste your valuable time.
- His feelings Guys always think they have to be strong, macho, and unemotional in all aspects of their lives. Growing up, many men are told to just “suck it up” and “stop whining like a little girl,” so it’s no surprise there are countless men out there, wandering around aimlessly with a perma-poker face. If your boyfriend would rather not talk about things that are bothering him or hurting him, it’s definitely not a good sign. It shows he hasn’t made it to the level where he’s willing to open himself up to you. It might happen at some point, but the chances are slim.
- What role you play in his life Does he want a girlfriend who’s heavily involved in all aspects of his life, or is he looking for someone who will give him a lot of freedom? The role you play in his life should be obvious by his actions, but it’s always best to have an open discussion to find out if what he’s looking for matches with what you’re comfortable with. This type of conversation will let you know if he’s just looking to pass the time with you until his dream girl comes along or if he’s in it for the long haul.
