I’m Worried My Boyfriend Will Pick An Ugly Engagement Ring

I’m slightly jumping the gun here, I realize; it’s not like he’s currently out shopping for an engagement ring. However, we have talked about marriage in a way that appears it’s a when rather than an if. My biggest concern is that he’ll pick an ugly ring, so I’m throwing all the hints I can while I have the chance.

His previous jewelry gifts don’t fill me with confidence.

My boyfriend has given me a few pieces of jewelry over the years but none of them have really been my style. Obviously I wore them for a while so as not to seem ungrateful, but if I’m honest, that teardrop pendant and those Aztec style earrings really weren’t very me.

Even his fashion sense isn’t on my level.

My boyfriend actually loves shopping—he probably loves it more than me! There’s nothing that he loves more than going to a high-end department store over the weekend and treating us to a new outfit. When it’s my turn, he peruses the rails, pulling pieces here and there and suggesting them to me. More often than not, his choices are kinda terrible. In his defense, he doesn’t really understand body shapes, so most of the stuff he picks out aren’t exactly hideous, they just wouldn’t look good on my body type. Still…

I don’t want to have to choose my own ring but I will if I have to.

In an ideal world, he’d just get it right, but if he’s honestly not sure of which ring to pick, I’d rather he let me choose it myself. At least then I’d get the style that suits me and my personality. I can’t imagine having to wear a ring every day for the rest of my life that just isn’t for me and I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to hide the disappointment on my face when he proposes with the monstrosity.

The main thing is that the engagement is a surprise.

As much as I want a ring I love, I definitely don’t want to have any idea he’s about to pop the question. I’m concerned he might not be so subtle nearer the time and I’ll know it’s coming, which is why I’m doing everything I can now in the hopes he’ll already have all the information he needs without letting the secret slip.

I’ve shown him examples of rings I like to plant the seed.

He’s voiced his concerns about choosing the right ring to me before, so I made time to show him some rings online that I really liked. We had had a few glasses of wine, though, and it’s not like he was taking notes or anything. Hopefully he’ll remember when the time comes.

I’ve also remarked on rings I really don’t like.

Anytime there’s an engagement photo on social media, I make a point of showing it to him and making remarks on the ring, particularly when it’s one I really don’t like. I know this all sounds pretty selfish—I should be grateful for any ring he buys me and ultimately I will be, but if there’s anything I can do to sway him in the right direction, I’m going to do it. I’d honestly rather have no ring than a ring that isn’t right for me. It’d be better if he saves his money and uses it to whisk me away to somewhere exotic instead.

Worse, what if his mom gives him an antique ring?

 There’s a ring in his family that belonged to his grandmother and now belongs to his mom. It’s so unbelievably ugly that I can’t even begin to describe it. His mom doesn’t wear it (she says it’s because she doesn’t do engagement rings but I really think she just doesn’t like it!) so there’s a good chance she might try and pass it on to him. I think the sentiment of passing down a ring to the new generation is endearing, but also, shouldn’t my engagement ring be as personal and unique our relationship?

I wear more jewelry now on purpose.

Normally I just have three rings I wear all the time that I never take off. Two of them are on my fingers and one is on my toe and they’re all simple Celtic rings. I like them because they look like everyday rings, but it’s not a style I would want for an engagement ring regardless of my heritage. These days I’ve started to wear more jewelry to try and give him a good idea of what I’d really want to wear.

If he doesn’t pick a ring I love, does he even know me at all?

This is the scariest question. It reminds me of Carrie Bradshaw when Aiden proposed with a pear-shaped ring she hated. While I always thought Carrie should have ended up with Aiden (controversial, I know!), the point of that storyline was that Aiden picked a ring that didn’t look like her and that’s how she figured out he wasn’t “The One.”

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