The Worst Part Of A Breakup Isn’t Being Single, It’s Having To Start All Over With Someone New

Being single doesn’t frighten me. In fact, it makes me feel amazing, which is why I’m not afraid to go back to rolling solo after being in a relationship. What I am afraid of, however, is having to date again from scratch. Here’s why.

I want someone who already knows my story.

Is that too much to ask for? I swear, this is why people date their friends. Having to tell a new person every little thing about myself going all the way back to childhood really puts me off. It’s tiring just thinking about it, to be honest.

I don’t have the energy to start over again.

Starting on a clean slate? God, no. I can’t do it. There’s nothing worse than exiting a long-term relationship, meeting someone new, and then having to start the dating process right from the beginning. I wish I could just rush through the dating milestones, going from “first date” to “engaged” in a split second so that it wouldn’t feel like such a mission to get there.

I have to put in extra effort.

I don’t like the feeling of knowing that I have to put in lots of effort with someone new. You have to make good first impressions and keep up appearances until you’re really an established couple and that sucks. It’s a lot of work. I want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who has seen me without makeup, laying around the house. I don’t want to have to work hard to reach that level of comfort with someone.

It’s overwhelming to go back to using dating apps.

 Going back to dating apps is horrible. Been there, done that, uninstalled the apps. True story. I hate the idea of having to work on my profile and choose the best pictures (selfies, anyone? NO!). I hate that I have to swipe left until I get carpal tunnel syndrome before I can find someone who’s half-decent.

It’s especially bad if you bump into familiar faces.

Is there anything more disheartening than leaving a dating website or app, returning after a few years, and seeing the same faces on it? It once happened to me. I ran into a guy online that I had known years before. The fact that so many people go back to dating apps because they can’t seem to find their forever person is so depressing. It’s even worse to know I’m one of them.

It’s so hard to get out there and date.

Okay, so if I meet someone nice and I want to meet them in person, that’s a start but it’s hardly even half the battle. Now I have to get out there and actually meet them when I’d rather be chilling at home with my cats.

I don’t have hope anymore.

After being in a serious relationship that filled me with so much hope, finding myself “single and looking” again is enough to make me want to call it a day and get even more cats. I might make some effort to try to find the right person, but honestly? I just don’t have hope in love anymore. Maybe those long-term relationships did a mean number on me, and maybe I am a little jaded, but I just wish I didn’t have to invest in someone new who might actually break my heart.

I don’t want to get hurt.

I don’t mind being single because I know that I’m the only one responsible for my happiness. When I get into a new relationship, however, that changes. To an extent, I’m hoping the guy will make me happy, and that can be a recipe for disaster. I don’t want my heart to get broken. It’s so hard to have to pick up all the pieces and glue them back together.

I’m afraid of all the dating trends.

I’ve been out of the dating game for a while, so the thought of tiptoeing back into it fills me with dread. Things like ghosting and benching to slow-fading and breadcrumbing freak me the hell out. I don’t want to risk being on the receiving end of such trends.

I don’t want to have to meet his loved ones.

There’s nothing worse than meeting my new guy’s loved ones and falling in love with them, then getting dumped by the guy in a few weeks so I never see them again. It sucks. Same goes for bonding with his pets only to have nothing but pictures of them to last me a lifetime.

I don’t want to ease into anything.

Another thing I hate about dating from scratch is how I can’t just let rip with who I am from date number one. No, I have to try to be gentle with the guy by showing him my whacky, kooky side in small doses. I hate that! I want to be “too much” or “crazy,” because I want to be the real me. So much of dating seems to be about being fake, and that’s the most draining thing about it.

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