Dating can be entertaining—a world of laughs and a great way to meet new and interesting people. Unfortunately, it’s not always all it’s cracked up to be. Dating can be really tricky too. From rejection to harassment, here are the worst parts of dating that every woman deals with eventually.
Finding the confidence to put yourself out there
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge how scary dating can be? Especially when you’re using dating apps, you have to put yourself out there and it’s terrifying. It takes a lot of guts to upload your photos and information online to be judged by complete strangers. Similarly, it takes a lot to show up on a date where you’re also being assessed (on some level) by the other person. Finding that nerve is one of the hardest parts of dating.
The disappointment of something promising not working out
One disappointment is bad enough, but in the world of dating, you often get disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. It’s especially difficult when a person seems really promising and you get your hopes up. After that, you’re scared to get excited about any new prospect because you’re used to them all falling flat in the end.
Not being attracted to people who are great on paper
Anyone who’s dated before knows how annoying the concept of attraction is. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t force it when it’s not there. There’s nothing worse than meeting someone who is a great person, who your friends would love, and who looks brilliant on paper, and not feeling anything for them. Sometimes, even after you give it a few dates, you just can’t muster up any sort of attraction towards them, and it sucks.
Being attracted to people who aren’t good for you
By the same token, it’s equally difficult being attracted to someone who is terrible on paper and who is not a great person. Attraction isn’t logical so you can’t turn it off just like that. And catching feelings for the wrong people is one of the quickest ways to a broken heart. How easy would life be if we could choose who we fell for?
Having to survive terrible dates.
Every now and then, you go on a fantastic date that reinstalls your hope in love. But the majority of dates are more along the lines of average. And sometimes, you go on dates that are truly terrible. Whether it’s the person you’re with or the experience itself, horrible dates do exist. Having to survive them is one of the worst parts of dating.
The anxiety before a first date
To an extent, all dates are nerve-wracking. But first dates, in particular, are enough to make your stomach flip. No matter how many first dates I go on, I still feel anxious before every single one. The anxiety doesn’t just appear on the way to the date, either. Sometimes, the anxiety comes days before. Having to get through it is very tough!
Feeling drained and exhausted
The anxiety, the terrible dates, the scrolling through apps, the going out to bars—it’s all draining. It’s no wonder that so many women suffer from dating burnout. This happens when you’re so exhausted from the process of dating that you have to take some time off just to exist in peace for a while.
No matter how smart, confident, or beautiful you are, you’ll come across rejection at some point or another in the dating world. And you guessed it: dating rejection is just as painful—if not more so—than other kinds of rejection. Even the little acts of rejection, such as ghosting off an app or not swiping right back, can hurt. The good news is that all that rejection can help you to build a thicker skin. Getting rejected never gets easier, but it will be easier to bounce back after a while.
Men becoming aggressive when they’re rejected
Rejection is painful for everyone. Unfortunately, women tend to bear the brunt of men’s hurt feelings when it comes to dating. While anyone can turn hostile when they’re rejected, men becoming aggressive and nasty when their feelings are hurt seems to be more common than the reverse. Regardless of your gender, being attacked simply because you’re not interested in someone is upsetting and scary.
Having to end things with lovely people
As hard as it is to be rejected, it’s sometimes harder to be the one rejecting someone else. Part of this comes from the fear of the above: men turning evil when you turn them down. But when someone is genuinely a nice person, rejecting them is hard because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings isn’t enough of a reason to continue seeing them, though. So sooner or later, this will probably happen.
Getting pitied by friends in relationships
Being single or active in the dating world can be especially difficult if all your friends are in relationships. While some couples are actually jealous of the single life, others will look down on you with pity. That said, there really is nothing to feel sorry for. As hard as dating can be sometimes, it doesn’t make you inferior to anyone. It can also be fun and exciting! So if you’re always getting pity looks, the answer might be new friends.
Feeling like you’ll never find “The One”
After a string of failed dates and flings, it’s easy to feel like you’ll never find the one. This is probably one of the hardest parts of dating. Along with anxiety and exhaustion, it can also make you feel doubtful and hopeless. Just remember that even if you have to sit through 100 terrible dates, there’s nothing to say you won’t find the one the 101st time.
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