Your Worth Doesn’t Depend On A Guy — It’s All About You

Finding someone who worships the ground you walk on is great, but if you really want to find happiness, you can’t let your mood depend on what a guy thinks of you. It’s not always easy to love yourself, but this is why you need to discover and embrace your own value instead of relying on a guy to do it for you:

  1. Many men are temporary. Men come and go. You can’t depend on the idea that the great guy who makes you feel like a million bucks is always going to be there. So you need to be sure that even if he isn’t, you won’t fall apart. You need to have the self-confidence and self-value to know that it’s okay if you don’t have a man around because you’ve got so much else going for you.
  2. You aren’t at the whim of male opinions. It feels great when a guy tells you how special you are, but honestly, that should only make you feel good for five seconds. If you depend on what men think or say about you too much, you allow their opinions to control you. Put more weight on what you think about yourself. Remember that your worth doesn’t depend on being liked.
  3. Loving yourself means you won’t allow others to treat you badly. If you nurture self-love and take care of yourself, you’ll treat yourself like your own BFF. Just like you wouldn’t let some guy trash-talk your bestie or make her feel badly, you won’t put yourself in situations where men can be horrible to you. You’ll have strong standards in place to protect you.
  4. You can make it on your own. Company is great, and having an amazing BF is wonderful, but honestly, you can take it or leave it. You can manage just fine on your own. Believe it and live your life so that no matter what happens, you’ll be great.
  5. You know what you deserve. Once you know your worth, you can use it to determine what you deserve in life and relationships. This also means you won’t settle; if a man treats you badly, you’re out of there.
  6. You deserve to prioritize your happiness. Relationships do demand effort, but you should be happy most of the time. Otherwise, what’s the point of dating in the first place? When you have a healthy sense of self-worth, this makes sense. Relationships need to bring goodness to your life, and you’ll realize this once you know that you deserve to be happy.
  7. It’s not selfish to put your needs first. You can’t go around filling up other people’s lives if yours is empty. By knowing your worth, you’ll focus on what you need to be happy and healthy. This way, you won’t wait around for a guy to make you happy.
  8. It’s important to look for the beauty around you. Loving and valuing yourself is crucial because it opens you up to only wanting good things surrounding you. You don’t have time for anything that brings you down and makes you negative, which makes it impossible for toxic men to take a hold of you.
  9. You can walk away whenever you want. If you don’t value yourself, you settle for crappy situations. You feel tied to them and might believe there’s no way out. Once you’re basking in self-worth, you become powerful. You can walk away at any time because you know that all you need is yourself.
  10. You have the power to change yourself. Sometimes life changes you, but when you value yourself, you’re the master of any changes that happen to you. You can choose how you want to transform and why. It’s all about becoming a stronger, healthier you.
  11. Your relationships don’t define you. Relationships can be whirlwinds that take over your life. Although this might feel exciting in the beginning, over time, you might lose yourself to them. But when you value yourself, you know how to keep your feet on the ground. Yes, you can enjoy relationships that make you feel amazing, but you don’t let them take over. You know you have so much more going for you than who you’re dating.
  12. If you know your flaws, no one can hurt you with them. Self-worth isn’t all about positive self-awareness: it’s also about knowing your flaws without allowing them to control you. When you reach that point, your flaws become weapons of confidence, making you unique and strong AF.
  13. Your life depends on you. You’re the only person responsible for your life. Having a healthy sense of self-worth helps you bear this in mind so you don’t go around thinking that some guy has to come along and make your life better. Your happiness rests on your shoulders. It’s great to know that you can create it, no help required. Any external sources of joy that come along are just a bonus.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.