Is He Worth The Investment Or Just Another Disappointment?

Is He Worth The Investment Or Just Another Disappointment? ©iStock/CoffeeAndMilk

You always seem to fall for guys who do nothing but disappoint you in the end. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to tell he was an loser before you fall madly in love with him? Well, there are signs. If you want to spot the true disappointments who think they’re real men, look for these early tells:

  1. He’s a last minute kind of guy. He never asks you out a week in advance because plans aren’t really his thing. Instead, he asks you out for Friday night at 4:00 pm that same day. The reality is, he was just waiting to see if something better would come along and when it didn’t, he turned to you. How does it feel to be his last resort?
  2. He’s constantly changing his mind… about everything. He never knows where to eat or what you should do that night. You already know he’s not a planner, but you find his indecision endearing (for now, anyway). Well, you shouldn’t, because if he can’t even decide what he wants for dinner or what movie you should see, then he’ll never be confident in his love for you.
  3. He thinks all his exes are crazy. You just met this man, but somehow you trust that all his exes are psycho. Even if his guy friends agree, that doesn’t mean you should rush to judgment on her. After all, his bros will always have his back. Give the girls that came before you the benefit of the doubt because maybe, just maybe, he’s the crazy one — not them.
  4. He tries to buy your love. He’s always lavishing you with great dinners, expensive wine and gifts to get back in your good graces, but is he ever really there for you? You need a man who loves you, not one who loves to be your sugar daddy. He’s masking his crappy personality with his awesome wallet. Do you really want to put up with a crappy boyfriend just for his money?
  5. He’s always on his phone. There’s no excuse for this; it’s just plain rude. If he can’t give you his undivided attention in the honeymoon stage, will he ever? Who is he even talking to? Probably another girl. You need a guy who can put down the technology and just be with you. Real life is right in from of him, and he should find you a hell of a lot more interesting than his phone.
  6. He won’t friend you on social media. It might sound like a small thing, but social profiles reveal a lot, like maybe the fact that he already has a girlfriend. He might even be trying to keep anyone he knows from finding out about you. If he’s afraid you’ll post a picture or even scared to just connect through social media at all, then the boy is hiding something.
  7. He never asks about you. He might think he’s a really great guy, but that’s no excuse for spending every date talking about himself and not asking a single question about you. You’re interesting too, and you deserve a man who’s going to be interested in your life, thoughts and feelings. You deserve to be more than just the pretty face standing next to a great guy — but with him, that’s all you’ll ever be.
  8. He wants girlfriend perks without giving you the girlfriend title. He totally seems to want a relationship… he just doesn’t want to call it that. If he gets antsy when you refer to him as your boyfriend after a month or two of dating or starts mumbling about how he wants to “keep it casual and see where things go,” they’re likely going nowhere and you need to get out now.
  9. He’s selfish as hell in bed. If you decide to sleep with him and it’s clear from the beginning that it’s all about getting him off, that’s a serious red flag. Sure, every once in a while it’s fine to concentrate on your partner’s pleasure without worrying about your own, but if he’s not even putting in any effort to make sure the experience is as good for you as it clearly is for him, it’s a big old NOPE.
  10. He seems absolutely perfect. If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. No one is perfect, not even Prince Charming. Perfection would be boring anyway. He’s showing you all the great things about himself because he’s hiding some serious skeletons in his closet. He might be good for now, but soon enough he’ll turn out to be one hell of a disappointment.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.