I Wouldn’t Have To Overanalyze Guys’ Behavior If They Behaved Like Normal Human Beings

I Wouldn’t Have To Overanalyze Guys’ Behavior If They Behaved Like Normal Human Beings ©iStock/martin-dm

Some guys are guilty of some seriously bizarre and inconsistent behavior. It’s totally baffling, and I can’t just let things roll off my back anymore like I used to. I’ve been told “not to overthink it” and to “stop overanalyzing” things in dating, but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t help it. I don’t enjoy spinning out over my dating life. I wish I could be more laid-back and optimistic, but before that can happen, it would help if these guys are going to need to start behaving like normal human beings.

  1. Ghosting isn’t normal. I don’t care if ghosting is apparently the new norm — I still think it’s a crappy way to date, and I can’t get on board with the times. If a guy isn’t into me, I shouldn’t need to text him because I’m wondering what’s up or if he’s lost interest. He should be telling me himself either way like a grownup.
  2. Feelings used to be communicated, no decoding necessary. These days, it seems like no one talks about feelings — like, ever. Why? If more guys would start properly communicating their intentions and where I stand in their lives, it would save me the hassle of trying to expertly read between the lines with the help of psychology handbooks and dating how-to articles.
  3. There’s no acceptable reason to wait for days to respond. I still can’t comprehend how and why a guy would take more than 24 hours to respond to a text message. I get that people are busy, but guess what? I’m busy AF too, and if I’m making the time to respectfully keep in constant communication with a guy I’m dating, he should pay me the same respect back. It not asking for too much. I truly hate that I have to rationalize why a guy may have taken so long to get back to me, playing out doomsday scenarios in my mind when in reality, I know he’s more than likely read and chosen not to respond to my message. A little honesty of lost interest would save me the anxiety.
  4. Calling me late at night isn’t normal. I’ll never understand this new mentality of dating. Why am I supposed to feel giddy and delighted when a guy texts me “you up?” when I’m already tucked into bed? If this is the new courtship, I want out. I wish these types of guys would just save me the trouble of falling for their charm before the late night calling begins by telling me they’re only looking to hook up without effort.
  5. It’s legit hard to tell if a guy is truly into me or just wants to get laid. I wouldn’t need to overanalyze at all if more guys would air their true intentions boldly instead of masking their douchebaggery with the faux face of Prince Charming. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen victim to being tricked into thinking a guy was genuinely sweet and into me when in reality, all he wanted was to charm his way into my bed. So yes, I’m a little more analytical as a result. I just don’t want to be played anymore.
  6. I’ve met some pretty clueless guys who don’t know how to date properly. Sometimes I’m legitimately confused at how a guy goes about trying to date me, which causes me to naturally overanalyze the situation for my own heart’s protection. When a guy is taking me out on cute and proper dates one minute and sending me pictures of his genitals the next, a girl’s going to scratch her head and obsess a little bit. Give me a break.
  7. Chivalry is completely different these days. Even the simple act of treating me with human kindness has somehow gotten lost in translation. It’s hard not to psychoanalyze the actions guys demonstrate in my company because modern acts of affection are still a foreign concept to me. Does that meme tag mean he likes me? Is his like on my new selfie the new version of sending me flowers? Seriously, help!
  8. I’d rather overanalyze a guy’s intentions than be left completely in the dark. Sure, I might seem to obsess about the details a little too often, but can you really blame me? Dating is such an abstract concept these days, and it used to be so simple. Unless a guy is an old-school version of normal when it comes to dating me — meaning he actually tells me he likes me, asks me out on real dates, stays consistent and respectful, and doesn’t go MIA for days — then sorry, but I’m going to rack my brain trying to figure it out.
  9. I’m sick of the games these days. Games don’t make the situation any easier. In fact, the twisted version of modern dating society has me even more confused than ever. How am I supposed to not try and decode a guy’s actions when one minute he’s blowing up my phone with affection and eagerness and the next, he’s telling me he’s too busy to see me anytime soon? Ugh.
  10. When guys behave normally, so will I. I’d love to live in a world where I didn’t need to hyper-obsess and overanalyze every little detail that comes into play when it comes to dating a new guy, but that’s simply not the case. Sure, there are normal guys out there, but they’re apparently becoming fewer and further between. I don’t enjoy spinning out and constantly questioning a guy’s motives, but it’s what I need to do to survive and avoid further beatings to my heart.