Friendship is supposed to be a safe space, filled with people who lift you up and make life feel lighter. But sometimes, even those closest to you cross lines they shouldn’t, and that’s when things get messy. Whether it’s subtle jabs disguised as jokes or outright betrayal, these behaviors shouldn’t be ignored. If you’ve been second-guessing whether a friendship is worth it, here are 15 behaviors that no one should have to put up with—ever.
1. Invalidating Your (Very Real) Feelings
When you open up about something that’s bothering you, a true friend listens. They don’t wave you off with, “You’re overthinking it,” or “That’s not a big deal.” Dismissing your feelings isn’t just hurtful—it’s invalidating. A good friend doesn’t have to fully understand what you’re going through, but they’ll care enough to take you seriously. If they consistently make you feel invisible, that’s a huge red flag. You deserve someone who values your emotions, not downplays them.
2. Turning Everything Into a Me-Show
Ever feel like your friend is more interested in their own monologue than an actual conversation? When every chat ends up being about them, it’s exhausting. A balanced friendship means both people get a turn to talk, share, and feel heard. If your struggles are met with “Well, that’s nothing compared to what I’m dealing with,” it might be time to rethink whether this friendship is giving you what you need—or just taking too much.
3. Dropping Backhanded “Compliments”
“You look great—for someone your age.” Sound familiar? These not-so-subtle digs are the hallmark of a toxic friend. A real friend builds you up, not tears you down under the guise of being “funny” or “honest.” If you leave hangouts feeling worse about yourself than when you arrived, take note of that. Life is hard enough without letting someone chip away at your confidence, one snarky comment at a time.
4. Only Calling When They Need Something
Some people treat friendships like a convenience store—open 24/7 for their emergencies but totally unavailable when it’s your turn to need support. If your “friend” only shows up with requests, favors, or complaints and never just to check in, that’s not a friendship, it’s a one-sided transaction and that’s hurtful. Relationships should be about mutual care and effort. If you’re feeling drained instead of supported, it’s time to reevaluate.
5. Sharing Your Secrets
Trust is everything in a friendship, and nothing breaks it faster than a loose-lipped friend. If they’re sharing your personal business with anyone and everyone—or worse, using it against you—you have every right to feel betrayed. A friend who can’t keep a secret isn’t just careless, they’re chaotic to your peace of mind. A true friend safeguards your trust, no matter what. Anything less than that is not someone you need in your circle.
6. Disrespecting Your Boundaries
Whether it’s showing up uninvited, prying into things you’ve asked them to leave alone, or guilt-tripping you for needing space, boundary-breakers are exhausting. Healthy friendships require mutual respect, and that includes honoring each other’s limits. If someone consistently crosses the lines you’ve set, they’re not just being thoughtless—they’re showing you that your comfort isn’t a priority to them. Don’t ignore the red flags.
7. Making You Feel Like a Backup Plan
Do they only call when their first choice cancels? Feeling like someone’s second option is more than just annoying—it’s hurtful, especially if you don’t do the same to them. True friends make you feel wanted, not like an afterthought. If they’re constantly flaking on plans or squeezing you in when it’s convenient, it might be time to ask yourself why you’re prioritizing someone who clearly doesn’t prioritize you.
8. Never Admitting They’re Wrong
We all mess up from time to time—that’s just being human. But if your friend can never own their mistakes or offer a simple apology, that’s a problem. Deflecting blame, making excuses, or gaslighting you into thinking you’re overreacting are not qualities of a good friend. Accountability is a sign of respect, and without it, any relationship is on shaky ground. If they refuse to say “I’m sorry,” it’s worth reconsidering if this friendship is healthy.
9. Comparing You to Others
“Why can’t you be more like so-and-so?” Whether it’s about your career, relationships, or lifestyle, these comparisons are both rude and unnecessary. A real friend appreciates you for who you are, not who they think you should be. Constantly being held up to someone else’s standards can leave you feeling inadequate and frustrated. Friendships should celebrate individuality, not tear it down with unfair comparisons.
10. Criticizing Your Goals or Dreams
We all need cheerleaders in our corner, not skeptics who bring us down because they’re secretly jealous. If your friend constantly mocks your ambitions or tells you they’re unrealistic, they’re not supporting you—they’re projecting their own insecurities. Your dreams are valid, no matter how big or small, and a real friend will root for you even if they don’t fully get it. Don’t let someone’s negativity dull your drive.
11. Making Everything a Drama
If every minor inconvenience in their life turns into a full-blown crisis, it’s draining to keep up. Drama queens thrive on chaos, but their constant need for attention can leave you feeling like you’re stuck in a never-ending soap opera. True friends bring calm into your life, not chaos. If their drama is taking a toll on your mental health, it’s okay to step back and protect your peace.
12. Ignoring Your Wins
Did they brush off your promotion, downplay your accomplishments, or fail to show up when you needed someone in your corner? Friends should be the first to celebrate your victories, no matter how big or small. If they’re constantly changing the subject or acting uninterested in your success, that’s not friendship—it’s jealousy. A good friend will be genuinely happy for you without making it about themselves.
13. Flaking Out Constantly
Life happens, and plans get canceled—that’s normal. But if your friend is always canceling last minute, ghosting your texts, or never following through, then they’re a chronic flake and you don’t need that in your life. A reliable friend shows up, not just physically but emotionally too. If you’re the only one putting in effort, it’s worth asking whether this friendship is actually bringing you joy or just frustration.
14. Using Guilt to Control You
“After everything I’ve done for you…” Sound familiar? Manipulative friends love using guilt to keep you in their orbit. It’s not love or care—it’s control. A real friend doesn’t need to guilt you into spending time with them or doing things for them. If you constantly feel like you owe them something just to keep the peace, it’s time to set some boundaries and stand your ground.
15. Making You Feel Alone in the Friendship
Friendship is a two-way street, but if you’re the only one putting in effort—reaching out, planning, and supporting—it can feel incredibly lonely. A one-sided friendship isn’t just unfair; it’s unsustainable. You deserve relationships where the care and energy are mutual, not where you’re left feeling like you’re talking to a brick wall. If they’re not showing up for you, it might be time to stop showing up for them.
This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.
