We all love our parents, but they have some truly baffling hoarding tendencies. If you’ve ever helped clean out their house or simply opened a drawer at their place, you’ve likely encountered the fascinating world of “just in case” collections. These treasured stockpiles, meticulously curated over decades, are supposedly being saved for some hypothetical future emergency that never quite materializes. Let’s dive into the greatest hits of Boomer preservation instincts that you’ll inevitably inherit one day.
1. The Kitchen Drawer Full Of Take-Out Menus
According to Junk Rescue, the “just-in-case” mentality often drives clutter accumulation, leading people to hold onto items like outdated menus even when they no longer serve a practical purpose. That drawer in your parents’ kitchen is practically bursting with menus from restaurants spanning multiple decades—including places that closed down during the last recession. They insist these menus are essential references, despite the fact that prices changed years ago and they always order the same three dishes anyway.
When you gently suggest they might use the restaurant’s updated website instead, they’ll look at you like you’ve suggested they start eating their dinner on the roof. “But what if the internet goes out and we want Chinese food?” they’ll ask, clutching a faded menu from Golden Dragon circa 2007.
2. That VHS Collection They Swear Will Be Worth Something Someday
The pride and joy of your parents’ entertainment center: dozens of carefully rewound VHS tapes housed in their original plastic clamshell cases. Every Disney animated classic, random action movies starring Sylvester Stallone, and at least three copies of Titanic because it came on two tapes and somehow they ended up with extras.
“These will be worth a fortune someday,” they insist, despite the fact that you couldn’t give them away at a yard sale (as noted by Kiplinger, most VHS tapes have little value). When you point out they haven’t owned a working VCR since 2011, they’ll remind you that your cousin’s neighbor’s brother-in-law sold a rare tape for hundreds on eBay once. Never mind that their copy of Mrs. Doubtfire with the Pizza Hut commercial before the movie isn’t exactly a collector’s item.
3. The Instruction Manuals For Every Appliance They’ve Ever Owned
Hidden away in some forgotten filing cabinet or desk drawer is the paper trail of every purchase your parents have ever made. Coffee makers long since broken, TVs that went to electronic recycling years ago, and devices so ancient you can’t even identify them from the manual’s diagrams—all meticulously filed away. Your parents can’t find their car keys, but they can absolutely produce the original documentation for their 1994 microwave in under five minutes.
When questioned about this archive of obsolete information, they’ll remind you that “these things cost good money” and “you never know when you might need to troubleshoot.” The fact that YouTube tutorials have replaced instruction booklets is irrelevant—there’s something sacred about those official manufacturer guidelines that no online video could ever replace.
4. A Drawer Of Mystery Cords And Chargers
Open any random drawer in your parents’ house and you’re bound to find the technological graveyard: a tangled nest of cords, adapters, and chargers for devices that haven’t existed in years. Nokia phone chargers, proprietary cables for cameras they no longer own, and at least three different generations of Apple products’ power supplies all living together in chaotic harmony.
“Don’t throw those out!” they’ll exclaim when you try to make sense of the collection. “I might need them!” Need them for what exactly remains unclear, but the thought of discarding a perfectly good charger for a Palm Pilot is apparently too painful to consider. They’re convinced that the moment they throw away that weird round-pin adapter, the device that it once powered will magically reappear in their lives.
5. Hotel Soaps And Shampoos From Every Vacation Since The 80s
Your parents’ linen closet contains enough toiletries to supply a small hotel chain. Every tiny bottle of shampoo, individually wrapped soap, and miniature lotion from decades of hotel stays has been carefully collected and brought home. The brands and packaging designs serve as a timeline of American hospitality industry trends from the Reagan administration to the present day.
When you point out that they have their preferred full-sized toiletries they use daily, they’ll explain these are for “guests” or “emergencies.” The fact that no guest has ever used these microscopic bottles during their stay doesn’t diminish their importance. Besides, that bar of soap from the Holiday Inn in Phoenix circa 1993 might come in handy someday, right?
6. Every Birthday And Christmas Card They’ve Ever Received
In some box, cabinet, or dedicated drawer resides a comprehensive archive of every holiday, birthday, and special occasion greeting card your parents have received since approximately the dawn of time. Each one was saved with the care and precision of a museum curator, often still in its original envelope with postmarks intact. Some may even still contain the original family photos or holiday newsletters that came with them.
Ask why they keep these paper memories, and you’ll get a mix of sentimentality and vague future purpose. “That’s from your great-aunt Mildred!” they’ll say, as if that explains everything. The idea that they might ever sit down and re-read these cards seems unlikely, yet the thought of parting with Great-Uncle Harold’s 1997 Christmas greeting feels tantamount to erasing family history.
7. Newspaper Clippings They’ll “Read Later”
Scattered throughout your parents’ home are yellowing newspaper and magazine clippings they’ve saved for later reading. Articles about health breakthroughs, gardening tips, and hometown features have been carefully cut out and placed in strategic locations—beside the reading chair, on the refrigerator, or in the dedicated “to read” basket that never seems to empty.
The preservation of these time-sensitive treasures defies all logic, especially when you consider they’ve had subscriptions to digital versions of these publications for years now. When you mention that the article about preventing Y2K computer problems might be slightly outdated, they’ll just add it to another pile to be “organized later”—a mythical future even. The National Archives advises digitizing newspaper clippings to preserve their content while avoiding the degradation of fragile newsprint over time.
8. An Army Of Tupperware Missing Half Its Lids
Your parents’ kitchen cabinets are a plastic container battlefield where mismatched soldiers await deployment. The collection has been amassed through decades of leftovers, potluck contributions, and that one time they actually bought a matched set. The containers range from vintage harvest gold Tupperware to repurposed yogurt tubs, all jumbled together in precarious towers that avalanche whenever the cabinet door opens.
The most fascinating aspect is the persistent lid shortage. Despite having enough containers to package meals for a small nation, somehow only about 40% have matching lids. Yet none of these orphaned containers will be discarded because “they’re perfectly good” and “the lid might turn up.” Your gentle suggestion to implement a matching-only policy is met with the same look reserved for people who don’t separate their laundry by color.
9. Stacks Of Yellow Phone Books From Before Google Existed
In the darkest corner of some closet or garage shelf sits a historical record of your parents’ community—multiple years’ worth of phone books. These massive yellow tomes, growing increasingly brittle (and smelly) with age, contain business listings for companies that have long since closed and phone numbers for people who have moved away or passed on.
“You never know when you’ll need to look something up,” they’ll insist, despite having smartphones with internet access. The concept that this information is not only outdated but completely accessible online doesn’t diminish the perceived value of these paper dinosaurs. The fact that nobody has cracked one open since Facebook became popular is beside the point—they’re keeping them “just in case.”
10. A Rainbow Of Half-Used Paint Cans In The Garage
Your parents’ garage resembles a hardware store’s paint department after an earthquake. Dozens of cans in various states of rust contain the chromatic history of their home—everything from the avocado green of the guest bathroom circa 1978 to the “neutral beige” that covers most walls now. Each can has about two inches of paint left, carefully preserved under a lid sealed shut by dried paint.
When you point out that they could free up an entire shelf by consolidating or disposing of these ancient paints, they’ll look scandalized. “What if we need to touch up a wall?” they’ll ask, as if the 30-year-old oil-based paint would still match or even be usable. The collection continues to grow with each new home project, ensuring future generations will inherit this colorful legacy.
11. Unread Magazines Dating Back To Before You Were Born
Hidden in plain sight are the stacks—oh, the stacks. National Geographic issues with cover stories about the wonders of the emerging internet. Home decorating magazines showcasing country kitchens with wallpaper borders. Health journals promising the definitive answer on whether eggs are good or bad for you this month. Each one carefully preserved in chronological order, despite never being read past the first few pages.
“I’m planning to catch up on my reading when I retire,” they’ll explain, despite having been retired for seven years already. The subscription may have lapsed during the Bush administration, but the collection remains sacred and untouchable. When you suggest digital subscriptions that don’t take up physical space, they’ll insist it’s “not the same” and that they like “having something tangible to read,” theoretically, someday.
12. Their Collection Of Promotional Fridge Magnets From Local Businesses
Your parents’ refrigerator tells the story of your hometown’s commercial history better than any museum could. Every square inch of that appliance is covered with magnets from businesses ranging from still-thriving to long-forgotten. The local pizzeria that changed hands three times, the insurance agent who retired in 2006, and at least four different real estate agents they’ve never actually worked with—all immortalized on magnetic advertising that somehow survived multiple fridge upgrades.
“These come in handy,” they’ll insist when you suggest a decluttering session. Handy for what exactly? Finding the phone number for a dentist who passed away? The magnet collection has essentially fossilized, with new specimens rarely added since most businesses switched to digital marketing. Yet each magnetic memory remains firmly attached, creating a museum of commercial archaeology that would make future anthropologists weep with joy.
13. The Antique Furniture They’re “Saving For The Grandkids”
Somewhere in your parents’ home—likely in a room nobody is allowed to use—sits furniture that has been designated as future heirlooms. That ornate china cabinet, the heavy wooden coffee table with the scratched finish, and the uncomfortable chair that nobody has actually sat in since who knows when are all being “saved” for the next generation. The fact that these pieces match no known contemporary design aesthetic is irrelevant.
When you gently explain that your 600-square-foot apartment can’t accommodate a seven-foot-tall secretary desk, they look genuinely puzzled. “But it’s been in the family for years!” they’ll protest, conveniently forgetting they bought it at a garage sale in 1985. The preservation of these pieces transcends practicality or style—they represent a tangible legacy to be passed down, whether the recipients want it or not.
14. A Drawer Full Of Single Gloves Missing Their Partners
In the limbo between usefulness and trash exists your parents’ collection of lone gloves. This drawer of misfit hand-coverings contains everything from leather driving gloves to dollar-store stretchy pairs that have lost their mates. Some have been without their partners for so long they’ve changed color compared to their missing counterparts.
“I might find the other one,” your mom insists, despite the fact that some of these singles have been living solo since you were in elementary school. The thought of throwing away a perfectly good glove—albeit one that serves absolutely no purpose without its mate—is apparently more painful than the drawer clutter it creates. Each winter brings the ritual examination of the orphans, just in case this is the year the prodigal glove returns home.
