We all know that person who consistently makes choices that defy logic or common sense. While it’s easy to laugh or judge, helping them develop better judgment requires patience and understanding. This guide explores the tell-tale signs that someone lacks basic common sense and offers compassionate strategies to guide them toward more grounded thinking—without making them feel inadequate.
1. They Struggle To Adapt When Their Regular Routine Is Disrupted
We all have our comfortable routines, but when someone completely falls apart at the slightest deviation, that’s a red flag. You might notice they become disproportionately stressed when their coffee shop is closed or their usual parking spot is taken. As WebMD outlines, these seemingly minor disruptions can throw their entire day into chaos because they haven’t developed flexible thinking patterns.
To help them, start by acknowledging their frustration before gently suggesting alternatives. “I know you always take that route to work, but since there’s construction, let’s look at a map together and find another way.” Gradually introduce small, intentional changes to their routine when stakes are low. This builds their adaptability muscles in a safe environment without overwhelming them.
2. They Take Extreme Positions Based On Limited Information
You know the type—they read one article or hear one podcast and suddenly they’re an expert with an unwavering opinion. They immediately adopt all-or-nothing thinking without exploring nuance or contrary evidence. As BetterUp explains, this black-and-white perspective prevents them from seeing the complex reality most situations actually inhabit.
When helping someone like this, resist the urge to bombard them with contradicting facts. Instead, ask curious questions that gently expand their perspective: “That’s interesting—I wonder what someone on the other side might say about that?” Introduce the idea that most issues exist on a spectrum rather than in absolutes. Your goal isn’t to change their mind immediately but to help them become comfortable with complexity.
3. They Reject Practical Solutions In Favor of Complicated Ones
There’s something almost comical about watching someone design an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine to solve a problem that a simple tool would fix. You might notice they consistently overlook straightforward approaches, instead creating multi-step plans requiring special circumstances or perfect timing. Their solutions often involve more effort than the original problem warranted.
Help them by making the practical path more visible. “Before we try your approach, what if we just tried this simpler way first?” Frame it as an experiment rather than a correction. When the straightforward solution works, don’t gloat—instead, emphasize how satisfying efficiency can be. Over time, help them see that elegance often lies in simplicity rather than complexity.
4. They Misinterpret Basic Social Cues That Others Pick Up Naturally
You’ve witnessed the uncomfortable moments—they miss the signals that a conversation is ending, don’t recognize when their joke has fallen flat, or continue talking about themselves when someone clearly needs support. While everyone misreads situations occasionally, for some people, these misinterpretations form a consistent pattern in their interactions (and according to Verywell Mind, this might suggest a deeper health condition).
To guide them without embarrassment, offer private, specific feedback shortly after incidents occur. “When Dylan mentioned her deadline three times, she was likely hinting that she needed to get back to work.” Create a simple code word you can use in social situations to alert them discreetly. Remember that they’re not being deliberately obtuse, they genuinely don’t perceive the subtle communications that others instinctively understand.
5. Their Financial Decisions Reflect Short-Term Thinking Only
They buy the expensive coffee maker on credit while ignoring their mounting debt. They splurge on luxury items but struggle to maintain an emergency fund. You notice they consistently prioritize immediate gratification over long-term security, making choices that satisfy today’s wants while compromising tomorrow’s needs.
When helping them develop financial common sense, start with visualizing exercises. “What might your life look like in five years if you continue this pattern?” or “How would having three months of expenses saved make you feel?” Avoid judgment—shame rarely motivates positive change. Instead, share simple planning tools and celebrate their small victories toward financial stability. The goal is to expand their decision-making timeline, not make them feel inadequate.
6. They Cannot Distinguish Between Credible and Unreliable Sources
You’ve seen their social media posts sharing dubious “facts” from questionable websites. They give equal weight to peer-reviewed research and their neighbor’s cousin’s experience. Their inability to evaluate source credibility leaves them vulnerable to misinformation and makes their own arguments less convincing to others.
Help them develop this critical skill by modeling your own evaluation process aloud. “I’m curious about this claim. Let’s look at who published it, their credentials, and whether other reputable sources say similar things.” Introduce them to fact-checking resources and the concept of consensus among experts. Normalize changing your mind when better information comes along—this shows that updating beliefs is a strength, not a weakness.
7. They Repeatedly Make the Same Mistakes Without Learning
Everyone makes mistakes, but you notice they seem trapped in a personal Groundhog Day. Whether it’s trusting the wrong people, making the same financial errors, or repeating relationship patterns, they don’t extract wisdom from their experiences. Each time feels like the first time to them, with no recognition of the recurring pattern.
When helping someone develop this aspect of common sense, timing is everything. Avoid pointing out patterns during emotional moments. Instead, when they’re calm, gently observe: “I’ve noticed something similar happened last year. What do you think might be the common element?” Guide them toward their own insights rather than presenting conclusions. Creating a non-judgmental space for reflection helps them connect the dots they’ve been missing.
8. They Struggle To Prioritize Tasks Based On Importance
Their to-do list is a chaotic jumble where changing the lightbulb has the same urgency as filing taxes due tomorrow. You watch them spend hours on minor tasks while crucial deadlines loom unaddressed. This inability to distinguish between the critical and the trivial leaves them perpetually busy but rarely effective.
Help them develop prioritization skills by introducing simple frameworks like the urgent/important matrix. “Let’s sort these tasks into four categories based on urgency and importance.” Start with just a few items to make the process manageable. Guide them to recognize that not everything requires the same level of attention or effort. Celebrating the relief that comes from completing high-value tasks reinforces this crucial aspect of common sense.
9. They Can’t Evaluate Risk In Everyday Situations
They either vastly overestimate unlikely dangers or blithely ignore genuine threats. You might notice they refuse to fly but drive recklessly, or they obsess over rare diseases while skipping basic health screenings. Their risk assessment operates on emotion and anecdote rather than probability and potential impact.
When helping them develop a more balanced risk perception, visual representations often work better than statistics alone. “On this scale from 1-10, where would you place this risk? Now let’s look at what experts say.” Normalize appropriate caution without feeding anxiety. The goal isn’t perfect risk assessment but bringing their perception closer to reality. Small adjustments in either direction—whether they tend toward paranoia or recklessness—represent meaningful progress.
10. They Assume Others Think Exactly Like They Do
You’ve witnessed their genuine shock when others disagree with their “obvious” conclusions. They can’t fathom why anyone would have different priorities, preferences, or perspectives. This assumption creates unnecessary conflicts and prevents them from effectively persuading others or finding compromise solutions.
Help them recognize the variety of valid viewpoints by using low-stakes examples. “Isn’t it interesting how some people love cilantro while others think it tastes like soap? Our brains literally process things differently.” Encourage perspective-taking exercises: “How might someone with different values see this situation?” The goal isn’t to abandon their views but to understand that their perception represents just one valid way of experiencing the world.
11. They Respond to Problems With Emotion Instead of Solutions
When challenges arise, their first response is to vent, blame, or catastrophize rather than problem-solve. You notice they spend more energy expressing frustration than addressing the actual issue. While emotional reactions are natural, their inability to move beyond them prevents progress and resolution.
Help them develop solution-focused thinking by validating feelings first, then gently pivoting. “I hear how frustrating this is for you. When you’re ready, what’s one small step we could take to improve things?” Create a simple transition ritual—like taking three deep breaths—to shift from emotional reaction to problem-solving mode. Recognize that this isn’t about suppressing emotions but about channeling that energy toward constructive action.
12. They Can’t Adjust Their Communication Style for Different Audiences
They use the same vocabulary, examples, and approach whether talking to a five-year-old or a field expert. You notice people often look confused after conversations with them, or they frequently complain about being misunderstood. Their one-size-fits-all communication fails to connect with diverse listeners.
To help them develop this communication awareness, provide gentle real-time feedback when possible. “Tara seems confused— maybe we could explain this using an example from her industry?” Model flexible communication yourself, explicitly noting how you’re adapting: “Since we’re talking to beginners, I’m avoiding jargon and using more analogies.” Celebrate their successful connections with different audiences to reinforce this crucial social skill.
13. They Make Decisions Based On What Should Work Rather Than What Does Work
They cling to theories and ideals even when reality consistently contradicts them. You notice they dismiss evidence that challenges their preferred approach, doubling down on failing strategies because they “should” be effective. This gap between their conceptual understanding and practical reality creates repeated disappointment and inefficiency.
Help them bridge this divide by encouraging small experiments. “Let’s try both approaches and see which gets better results.” Frame outcomes as valuable data rather than personal failures or successes. Guide them toward asking “what is” questions before “what should be” questions. This grounds their thinking in reality while still allowing space for improvement and innovation beyond the status quo.
