Unlike the occasional white lie most of us tell, pathological lying is a complex behavior pattern that goes far beyond simple dishonesty. It’s a persistent, compulsive behavior that can damage relationships, careers, and even the liar’s own self-perception. In this article, we’ll explore the most common traits and behaviors that pathological liars share.
1. They Panic When They’re Cornered
When a pathological liar realizes they’re about to be exposed, they don’t calmly admit defeat like most people would. Instead, they unleash a tornado of new lies, distractions, and emotional manipulation to escape the situation. You’ll notice their breathing change, their speech pattern accelerate, and they might even start sweating or fidgeting as their fight-or-flight response kicks in.
This panic response happens because being caught threatens their carefully constructed false reality. The prospect of exposure is genuinely terrifying for them, not just embarrassing like it would be for someone who told a one-off lie. They’ll often go to extreme lengths in these moments, including storming out, creating a scene, or even turning the tables to make you feel like you’re the one who’s done something wrong.
2. They Make Themselves The Victim
Even when a pathological liar is clearly in the wrong, they have an uncanny ability to flip the script and position themselves as the victim. You might confront them with clear evidence of their deception, only to find yourself somehow apologizing to them ten minutes later. They excel at crafting narratives where the world is against them, everyone misunderstands them, or they were “forced” to lie because of circumstances.
This victim mentality, as Healthline calls it, serves two purposes: it deflects responsibility and garners sympathy. By portraying themselves as wronged, persecuted, or suffering, they neutralize your legitimate concerns and make you question your own perception. You’ll notice they have an endless supply of sad stories where they were treated unfairly, and these tales often grow more dramatic with each retelling.
3. They Have Elaborate Explanations For Everything
Ask a pathological liar a simple question, and you’ll rarely get a simple answer. Instead, you’re in for a detailed story with unnecessary specifics, tangents, and contextual information nobody requested. What would take most people a sentence to explain becomes a five-minute narrative complete with dialogue, emotions, and intricate descriptions of irrelevant details.
These elaborate explanations aren’t just annoying—they’re strategic. By overwhelming you with information, they make their stories harder to question and inconsistencies harder to spot. They’re also buying themselves time to construct a plausible narrative on the fly. Pay attention to how they include peculiarly specific details (“it was exactly 3:42 PM and I was wearing my blue shirt with the small coffee stain”) that seem designed to add authenticity to an otherwise shaky story.
4. They Get Defensive About Small Details
You might think catching a pathological liar would require exposing some massive deception, but strangely, it’s often tiny inconsistencies that trigger their strongest reactions. Point out a minor contradiction in their story, and suddenly they’re disproportionately upset, as if you’ve accused them of something far worse. As Business Insider points out, this hypersensitivity to small details reveals how fragile their web of lies really is.
Their defensiveness stems from understanding that one questioned detail can unravel everything. Like a loose thread on a sweater, pulling on even a minor inconsistency threatens to unravel their entire fabricated narrative. You’ll notice they’ll fight tooth and nail over these seemingly insignificant points, often distracting from the larger issues at hand. They might say you’re “nitpicking” or “missing the point,” when in reality, you’ve inadvertently touched the foundation of their deception.
5. They’re Impulsive
Pathological liars don’t typically plan their deceptions days in advance—they create them in the moment without considering long-term consequences. You’ll watch them make split-second decisions to lie when telling the truth would be easier and cause fewer problems down the road. It’s as if there’s a disconnect between their immediate desire to look good (or avoid trouble) and their ability to foresee the inevitable complications.
This impulsivity extends beyond just lying and into other areas of their lives. You might notice they make major purchases without planning, jump into relationships quickly, or change jobs frequently on a whim. Their need for immediate gratification overrides their concern for future outcomes. When you try to point out potential problems with their impulsive choices, they’ll dismiss your concerns with yet another impulsive lie, creating a perpetual cycle.
6. They Crave Attention
At the core of many pathological liars is an insatiable hunger for attention and validation. You’ll notice their stories often position them as the hero, the expert, or somehow central to every situation. Even in group conversations, they’ll find ways to redirect focus to themselves, whether through dramatic tales, claimed connections to famous people, or alleged rare experiences that no one can verify.
This attention-seeking isn’t just annoying—according to Medical News Today, it reveals their deep insecurity and need for external validation. They’d rather have your negative attention for an outlandish lie than no attention at all. You might observe how they monitor your reactions closely while telling stories, adjusting details in real-time based on your level of interest. If attention starts shifting away from them, watch how quickly they’ll introduce a new, more shocking claim to recapture the spotlight.
7. They Believe Their Own Lies
As the Newport Institute notes, one of the most baffling aspects of pathological liars is that, over time, they seem to genuinely believe their own fabrications. You might present them with indisputable evidence contradicting their claims, only to find they appear sincerely confused or hurt by your disbelief. This isn’t just commitment to the lie—they’ve actually internalized their false narrative as truth in their own minds.
This self-deception makes them particularly convincing and difficult to confront. Unlike someone knowingly telling a lie who might show signs of deception, they display the confidence of someone sharing what they perceive as fact. You’ll notice they rarely have the “tell” that casual liars have, like avoiding eye contact or nervous fidgeting. Instead, they might become genuinely distressed when their “truth” is questioned, because from their perspective, you’re the one denying reality.
8. They Need To Control The Narrative
Pathological liars have an overwhelming need to control how stories are told and how they’re perceived. You’ll notice they quickly interrupt when someone else begins recounting shared experiences, often saying “That’s not exactly how it happened” before steering the story in their preferred direction. They become visibly uncomfortable when events are discussed without their input or framing.
This control extends to how information about them spreads. They might insist on being the one to explain situations to mutual friends, preemptively contact people with their version of events, or demand that certain topics remain “just between us.” You’ll find they create different versions of stories for different audiences, carefully managing who knows what to ensure maximum benefit to their image. Their anxiety spikes noticeably when they discover people have been discussing them in their absence.
9. They Can’t Recognize Their Pattern
Despite living in a web of their own creation, pathological liars often have a remarkable inability to see their own pattern of deception. You might point out five lies they’ve told in the past week with concrete evidence, only to have them genuinely insist they’re “just the most honest person” who “hates liars.” This lack of self-awareness is both frustrating and fascinating to witness.
Their blindness to their own behavior stems from powerful psychological defense mechanisms protecting their self-image. You might observe them vehemently criticizing others for the exact dishonest behaviors they regularly exhibit themselves. Even when briefly acknowledging a specific lie after being caught, they’ll treat it as an isolated incident rather than part of a pattern. This compartmentalization allows them to maintain their self-perception as truthful despite a history that clearly demonstrates otherwise.
10. They Create Chaos Around Them
If you’ve spent enough time around a pathological liar, you’ve probably noticed the strange way drama and complications seem to follow them everywhere. You’ll witness previously stable situations unexpectedly erupt into conflict shortly after they become involved. This isn’t coincidence—their lying creates an atmosphere of confusion, mistrust, and emotional volatility that affects everyone in their orbit.
The chaos serves a purpose beyond being merely a byproduct of their behavior. In confusion, inconsistencies are harder to track, and attention shifts from their credibility to crisis management. You’ll notice how they often thrive during chaotic periods, appearing energized rather than disturbed by the turmoil. They might even deliberately instigate problems between others, telling different people conflicting information, then stepping back to watch the ensuing discord while maintaining plausible deniability about their role in creating it.
11. They Avoid Deep Relationships
While pathological liars might have many acquaintances and social connections, you’ll notice a striking absence of genuinely deep, long-term relationships in their lives. They seem to keep people at carefully calibrated distances—close enough to maintain influence but not so close that their inconsistencies become too apparent. When relationships do intensify, they often find reasons to create distance or conflict just as intimacy deepens.
This reflects the impossible challenge they face: authentic intimacy requires vulnerability and truth, precisely what their condition prevents them from offering. You might observe how they compartmentalize their social world, keeping different friends and family members separate from each other to maintain different narratives with each. When these worlds inevitably collide, they typically respond by withdrawing from or sabotaging the relationships rather than facing the contradictions in their various presentations of self.
12. They Shift Blame To Others
When things go wrong, a pathological liar has a remarkable ability to ensure the finger points anywhere but at themselves. You’ll watch them transform clear personal failures into someone else’s responsibility through creative reframing and selective storytelling. This blame-shifting happens so quickly and naturally that you might find yourself nodding along before realizing the logical inconsistencies in their explanation.
Their deflection techniques often include identifying scapegoats, claiming manipulation (“they made me do it”), or presenting themselves as victims of circumstance beyond their control. You’ll notice they rarely say simple phrases like “I made a mistake” or “I’m sorry I did that.” Instead, their apologies—when they offer them—tend to be conditional: “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry, but if you hadn’t…” This inability to own their actions extends their pattern of deception into every aspect of accountability.
13. They Contradict Themselves Frequently
Beyond their shifting stories, pathological liars often contradict themselves within the same conversation, seemingly unaware of the logical inconsistencies in their statements. You’ll hear them make a definitive claim only to say the opposite minutes later, acting as though both statements could simultaneously be true. This happens with small details (“I’ve never liked spicy food” followed later by stories of loving hot sauce) and with significant life claims alike.
These contradictions reveal how their lying isn’t always strategic—it’s often compulsive and situational. You might notice they say whatever seems advantageous in the moment without tracking what they’ve previously claimed. When faced with their contradictions, they rarely acknowledge the inconsistency, instead doubling down or creating elaborate explanations that attempt to reconcile the irreconcilable. This pattern of immediate contradiction suggests their relationship with truth is fundamentally different from most people’s, existing in a perpetual present tense without concern for logical continuity.
