Yeah, I’m A Prude, And I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It

As I’ve gotten older and more mature, I’ve simply come to realize there are some things I prefer not to see or talk about outside of the bedroom. I’m a prude, and while I’m not ashamed of it, it’s certainly made my life interesting in unexpected ways.

  1. I miss out on a ton of pop culture, but I don’t really care. There are some shows and movies I actively avoid due to overt — and in my opinion, totally unnecessary — sex scenes and nudity. Call me childish, but I don’t see how a guy telling two ladies of the night what to do with each others’ butts in “Game of Thrones” furthers the plot in any way. People insist I’m missing out on a groundbreaking cinematic experience, but I’m perfectly content with my PG-13 entertainment. I might miss out on a movie night or two, but I know how uncomfortable it would be for me so I have no problem doing my own thing.
  2. Despite being a prude, I’m all for women owning their sexuality. Just because I wouldn’t pop my top off on a sunny day at a public park doesn’t mean I would ever judge another woman for doing so. After all, men do it all the time and women should have the same exact rights. Also, don’t even get me started on the issue of public breastfeeding. The fact that this is an issue at all is totally maddening.
  3. Just because I don’t talk about sex all the time doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it. I’ve never felt the need to tell my friends the dirty details of my sex life, but that doesn’t mean I’m not into kinky stuff! I just don’t think the whole world needs to know about it. What I do in the bedroom is between me and my partner, and that’s the way it should be.
  4. The thought of accidentally stumbling onto a nude beach actually gives me anxiety. Old man balls. Do I have to explain any further?
  5. Dressing “sexy” is such a chore and I really can’t be bothered. Fall is my favorite time of year for plenty of reasons, but the ability to wear my granny cardigans is at the top of my list. Anytime I decide to put on a strappy pair of heels and a sexy, short dress, I end up yanking at my clothes all night. I love being comfy and covered up, sue me! My guy realizes that what makes me sexy has nothing to do with my outfit, and that’s all that matters.
  6. My friends make fun of me all the time, but it’s all good-natured. I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m a bit of a prude and, because of that, plenty of my friends are aware of it. Making me feel uncomfortable has turned into a game for some of them. In high school, two of my dude friends actually tried to tie me down to a chair and make me watch “Euro Trip.” I escaped, by the way.
  7. I may not be sexually extreme, but I’m not judgmental. I pride myself on my ability to empathize and give solid advice. If that means a friend or family member needs to divulge a secret or two about her sex life, that’s not a problem at all! A healthy sex life is important and I would never turn away from a friend that needed to chat.
  8. I think it’s incredibly rude when people ask me about having children. A few years into my relationship, friends and family alike suddenly felt they had the green light to ask me about my plans to reproduce. Although having babies is touted as the most natural and beautiful thing in the world, I think it’s also a very personal decision. Someone asking me what I plan on doing with my uterus in the near future weirds me the hell out.
  9. My prudish tendencies don’t exist due to a deeply rooted problem. I’m able to poke fun at myself because I’ve fully accepted this is just the way I am. I’m totally aware that Americans in general tend to have a more prudish view on sex and the human form. It may sound a little stubborn, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way I was raised. I’m totally accepting of what other people choose to do with their daily lives and I expect the same respect from others in return.
  10. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me and I don’t plan on changing anytime soon. I’m in a healthy relationship, I have a healthy sex life, and I will always opt out of watching “50 Shades of Grey.” I’m happy with the way I am and, frankly, my decisions aren’t hurting anybody.
Jessica is a proud Pittsburgher that loves to drink tea and adopt cats in her spare time. She is a self-proclaimed Slytherin and would like to visit Harry Potter World as soon as possible!