Yeah, I Think I’m Hot. No, That Doesn’t Make Me Stuck Up.

For some reason, thinking that you’re attractive has become synonymous with being stuck-up. If you feel good about the way you look, then you must be a conceited bitch, right? Not really — in fact, that logic couldn’t be further from the truth. I think I’m beautiful, yes, but I’m not conceited.

  1. Being pretty isn’t just about what’s on the outside. I think true beauty is about what’s on the inside, and that can be just as hard to learn to love and accept. I wouldn’t consider myself an easy person to love, but I couldn’t accept the outside until I accepted the inside. I am who I am and I can’t change that, so instead, I’ve decided to embrace it because no one else will ever love me if I can’t even love myself.
  2. I have confidence. That’s a good thing. It took me a long time to learn to not just like myself but actually love myself, and now I know that you can’t get very far in life without self-confidence. If you want to be pretty then you have to act pretty. I need to walk out of the house feeling beautiful whether I’m all dolled up or going makeup-free. It’s all about how I feel on the inside that makes me feel amazing on the outside — that’s true confidence.
  3. When I look in the mirror, I’m happy with what I see. Why does that have to be made out into something bad? Shouldn’t we all desire and deserve to look in the mirror and feel good about ourselves? I’m definitely no Victoria’s Secret model, but I’m not hideous. I’m clearly a pretty girl, so why should I have to deny that to myself or anyone else? I should all be able to look in the mirror and feel happy with the reflection staring back at me — and I am, so tell me again, why does that make me a bitch?
  4. I’ve learned to love my flaws. Yes, I have flaws and like most people, I see my flaws more than the people around me do. We all look in the mirror and wonder if anyone else will notice that pimple or think that our nose has no business being that big. I’m flawed, just like everyone else. The difference is, I’ve learned to love those imperfections. Chubby cheeks and freckles are the type of things that make someone unique, and that’s what I find makes me truly beautiful.
  5. When you’re happy on the inside, you become happy with the outside too. I know that I’m the only person in control of my happiness. If I’m not satisfied with who I am then I could never be satisfied with my appearance. To me, happiness is something I decide, and I choose to feel good about myself inside and out. Every day I try to look in the mirror and smile because feeling happy is what truly makes me feel good about myself.
  6. It’s taken me a long time to reach self-acceptance. I didn’t come out of the womb being like, “Damn, I’m gorgeous AF.” I went through the struggle to not only find myself but then accept myself just like everybody else. In fact, for years I hated myself inside and out because I was focusing only on what I didn’t like instead of taking a moment to consider the qualities that I did. It’s been a journey, and that’s why I’m proud (not ashamed) to be able to honestly say that I know I’m beautiful.
  7. At the end of the day, what matters most to me is what I think of myself. People are always going to judge me, so let them. If I spent my life trying to impress or satisfy other people, it would be such a waste because no matter what, not everyone is going to like me or the way I look. At the end of the day, I feel best when I care about the one opinion that truly matters—my own.
  8. I value personalities over looks. Just because I think I’m pretty doesn’t mean I’m all about looks. There are some amazingly good looking people out there who are total jerks and that fact makes them unattractive to me. I look to surround myself with people who offer up more substance than just a good-looking face. At the end of the day, for me, attraction is all about a man’s personality.
  9. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else. The fact that I think I’m beautiful doesn’t mean that I think of other people as beneath me. In fact, I love to see the beauty in other women too. I think I’m pretty but I can still get that flick of jealousy when I see another beautiful woman. Even further than that, I don’t think looks define how great of a person you, I or anyone else in the world is. I’m not better or worse than anyone else, but I’m allowed to love my own face.
  10. If I’m too good for a guy, it’s because he doesn’t know how to appreciate me. I don’t turn down guys based solely on their looks — now, that would be stuck-up. If our personalities don’t click then I won’t waste my time just because he’s good looking. I need to feel that spark. I need a man who can truly appreciate me, not because I’m pretty but because I’m me and because he likes me just the way I am inside and out.
  11. I love myself but I’m not in love with myself. I’m not a narcissist. I still have an inner critic. I don’t look in the mirror and gaze lovingly at perfection. I still have my ugly days, the days where I just don’t feel pretty — every girl does. I just know at the end of the day that I’m being foolish. I’m pretty but I don’t need to post a million selfies to prove it all that really matters is that I feel good about myself and that doesn’t make me stuck-up.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.