Yes, I’m Single And No, I Don’t Want To Talk About It

Some women are totally obsessed with the fact that they don’t have a boyfriend, but that’s not me. Of course I want to find love—I’m just like anyone else—but I don’t think that the fact that I’m not currently in a relationship is all that interesting. Here’s why I would rather not talk about my single life.

  1. I’ve got cool things going on. Like most people, I have a whole bunch of stuff going on in my life at any given time. Sure, I’m dating, but I’m also building my career, going back to school part-time, discovering new hobbies, and getting healthier. If people want to talk to me about my solo status and that’s literally it, that seems kind of boring. There are plenty of other things they could ask me about.
  2. I’m not the only single girl. This seems obvious AF but it’s actually not… at least not to people who are in relationships. Coupled up people love to focus on why I don’t have a boyfriend. They never seem to get that my experience is pretty normal and standard and that it’s not really a problem. After all, they were in my shoes before.
  3. I want to stay positive. While I’m generally cool with my solo life, it’s a different story when I fixate on why I don’t have someone special to share everything with. Once I get thinking along those lines, I’m no longer in a good mood. I would rather stay upbeat than get down about it, so for me, that means that I can’t talk about it. Ever.
  4. I don’t think that it’s a big deal. Things can always be worse. I know that I’m a super fortunate person. I have food, shelter, work, friends, family, and my health. Why would I freak out over the fact that I’m on my own? Thinking that way is not only overdramatic, but it would also make me a spoiled brat.
  5. Being in a relationship doesn’t solve everything. I could have had a boyfriend for five years now and not have my dream career. I could be married and going through a health crisis. I know that being one-half of a couple means absolutely nothing except for the fact that you’re one-half of a couple. No rose-colored glasses here.
  6. I have other dreams. I absolutely want to fall in love. I want to do a lot of other things too. I’m nowhere near finished dreaming and coming up with new things that I want to achieve, and it would be great if someone could ask me about that stuff instead of what my last date was like. It’s kind of sexist to assume that my only hope in life is to meet a guy. Come on.
  7. There’s really nothing to say about it. If I’m at a party and someone mentions that I’m single or asks why, it’s honestly going to be a pretty short conversation. Once I tell them that I’m waiting to meet the right guy and that I haven’t had luck with that so far, that’s really all there is to it. They’re probably going to wonder why they even brought up the subject… which is totally fine with me since I would literally rather discuss anything else.
  8. My singleness is the most boring thing about me. I’m not saying that I’m the most interesting person in the world—there are definitely a ton of others who hold that title—but when it comes to my life, background, personality traits, opinions, and everything else, the fact that I’m single is not very captivating. It’s just that—a fact.
  9. It’s been a good thing so far. Of course it would be awesome if I had already met my person. Since that hasn’t happened, I’m not about to start lamenting it. I’m okay with the journey that my life has taken and look forward to what happens next. Staying single has allowed me to focus on school and my career and becoming who I am. It’s only now that I feel truly ready for a real relationship. It’s all thanks to my solo status.
  10. It only seems to matter to couples. The other single women that I know are absolutely amazing. They have goals, busy schedules, and positive attitudes. We joke around about our bad dates and share stories, but we’re not sobbing into our glasses of wine when we hang out. Talking to someone who’s part of a couple is totally another story. My single status only seems to matter to a girl who’s a girlfriend, and that’s pretty ridiculous. If I’m not going to judge her love life, she should forget about mine and focus on her own. Because I may be single, but hopefully not for much longer, and then there really will be nothing to talk about (besides the great new guy in my life, that is).
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.