Yes, I Want A Man Who Can Protect Me — That Doesn’t Make Me Weak

I’m totally self-sufficient and I can completely hold my own in life, and I’m proud of it. I’ve always been turned off by macho, overprotective men and have no interest in dating one who doesn’t appreciate my strength. That being said, I like the comfort of knowing my guy is standing by my side in situations where I’m out of my depth and that does NOT make me weak.

1. I’ve bitten off more than I can chew at times. I have a big mouth and a quick temper. I can reduce a 6’5″ tall man to tears with my sharp tongue, but I’m fully aware that I can’t take him down with my small body. In the past, I experienced abusive relationships and my quick wit failed me in those times. No amount of clever jabs could protect me from my abuser and it was a terrifying realization. In those moments, it would have been nice to have a real partner on my side.
2. I only date men that are self-proclaimed feminists. Men that don’t take the time to understand the true meaning of feminism are typically the kind of men that don’t want equality. I’m not okay with that, and I refuse to date a man that doesn’t see me as an equal part in the relationship. I’m happy to have a guy stick up for me in times of need, but I don’t need a man that thinks I’m incapable of helping myself.
3. I recognize my limitations but they don’t define me. Men that view women as the weaker sex are small-minded. Women are just as intuitive, innovative, and savvy as men and there are certainly plenty of women that could lay a man flat in a matter of seconds. Just because I can’t overcome a man physically doesn’t mean I’m any better or worse of a person. Everybody has limitations, and mine happen to be physical. That’s easily remedied with my guy by my side.
4. The role of “hero” needs to be shared. Relationships are all about give and take. Sometimes I need to be the strong one and other times, my boyfriend needs to step up to play the role of hero. I don’t feel lesser than or demoralized when my guy needs to pick up the slack in our relationship because I know eventually it’ll be my turn.
5. My dependence on him makes us stronger as a whole. Depending on another person is something that’s made me feel vulnerable in the past. I always thought if I gave someone the key to my heart, I’d be opening myself up to unnecessary heartache. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that good men want to protect the hearts of their loved ones. Opening myself up to another person does leave me vulnerable, but it also strengthens the trust between me and my guy.
6. I know I’m small, but he never makes me feel that way. I’m a physically small person, and I’ve dated men in the past that have made me feel so small I’m practically invisible. As a feminist, I’ve made it a priority to date men that never look down on me. My guy has a way of making me feel safe without making me feel weak.
7. My physical strength isn’t a testament to my character. I’m not ashamed to say I get totally freaked out when I’m walking to my car alone in the dark, and I always have my car key safely tucked between two fingers in a jabbing position to prepare for the worst case scenario. Just because I prefer to have a man by my side to defend me doesn’t mean I’m not self-confident — I just grasp the reality of my situation.
8. I love the feeling of security he gives me. The world can be a scary place for a woman. Men take unbelievable liberties when they see a woman walking down the street by herself, and it can make for some seriously uncomfortable situations. I love my alone time, but there are some instances where I’m infinitely grateful to have my guy there to stand up to the cat callers. He makes me feel secure and respected.
9. I know he would be okay if the roles were reversed. I may not be able to take down a bully for my guy, but I would if I could. That’s the whole point behind feminism, isn’t it? My guy and I advocate for equality and I know he wouldn’t be ashamed if I had to step up to the plate to make sure he was protected from harm.
10. Strong women are romantics too. The strong woman in me may reject the idea of a knight in shining armor, but I have to admit it’s comforting to know my guy will be there for his damsel in distress if the time ever comes. I don’t mind getting swept off my feet once in a while.