You Can Crush On Other People & Not Ruin Your Relationship

There’s no definitive line when it comes to cheating. Some people are in open relationships, while other think of flirty texting as crossing the line into infidelity. However, even if you never make a move with another person, it’s natural that you’re going to develop a crush every now and then. We’re only human, after all. As long as you have boundaries established and defined and can stick to them in your own relationship, having a crush on someone else might not be the worst thing in the world — here’s why.

  1. You might have more sex. A study found that women with crushes outside of their relationships actually had an increased desire for their real men. Seems strange, but it’s true.
  2. It’s not something you can control. Assuming that our bodies have anything to do with choosing who we crush on, we might not be totally in control of attraction. What we can control is the choices we make about it.
  3. Your crush might be a clue to what you’re currently missing. When evaluated for what it is, a crush might simply be a reminder that you’ve been missing out on some excitement lately, but passion is an easy fix with a little effort.
  4. Crushes go away. Falling in love with someone else is one thing, but crushes usually fade when you’re being a rational adult and not a hormonal schoolgirl.
  5. Admitting to it gives it less power. Forbidden crushes can grow and take on a whole strange life, but ones that you’re honest about (at least to yourself) probably won’t.
  6. It has nothing to do with your commitment. Whether you’re committed or not was determined before the new hottie came along. If you’re dedicated to your guy, you’re not even going to consider going there with anyone else.
  7. Crushes are pretty common. In the same study as mentioned above, 70 percent of women admitted to crushing, and it was usually on coworkers.
  8. You always have choices. A crush is just a crush until it isn’t, but that’s a decision that you get to make.
  9. You might crush on people who remind you of man. The reason that you find some people interesting might be the fact that they share qualities with the guy who’s already won your heart.
  10. A harmless crush might make your day more fun. It’s not that you have any interest in actually doing anything about it, but knowing that there are cute guys around can make the work day that much more interesting.
  11. It might make you feel guilty… in a good way. Many people who develop crushes outside of their relationships feel terrible about it, which might be all that you need to realize how good you’ve already got it.
  12. Sometimes it makes your relationship stronger. If you can express the insight as to why you’ve been focusing on someone else, then you give your man a chance to air his thoughts and see where you can both make the relationship more of a priority.
  13. Crushes aren’t always what they seem. You thought that guy at the gym was super cute until he actually spoke to you and that crush basically disintegrated on the spot.
  14. It always feels nice to feel attractive. If the crush developed because out of flattery, perhaps you just needed a little reminder that you’ve “still got it” even though you’re in a serious relationship.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog