You Can Get Over A Guy, But Losing Your BFF Hurts Forever

You Can Get Over A Guy, But Losing Your BFF Hurts Forever ©iStock/svetikd

Boyfriends come and go, but best friends are supposed to be forever. So what happens when they’re not? Getting dumped sucks to say the least, but losing your bestie hurts a hell of a lot more than any man could and stays with you so much longer:

  1. Your friendship lasted a hell of a lot longer than any relationship. If you made it to BFF status, then you haven’t just been friends for the last six months. After you breakup with a guy, you can feel like the whole relationship was a waste of time, but that’s nothing compared to the years you invest in a friendship.
  2. Friendships aren’t supposed to end. When it comes to romantic relationships, you always know that things might not work out. When it comes to friendships, you never think of the day it will end. Friends for life seems like a given, but the reality that it’s not is a lot more than heartbreaking.
  3. You don’t stop loving each other. Maybe your last fight was the nail in the coffin, maybe one of you changed for the worse, or maybe you just couldn’t agree to disagree on the latest love of her life. There are a lot of reasons your friendship could have failed, but regardless of any disagreements, it wasn’t because you stopped loving each other.
  4. You never truly move on. You don’t unfollow on social media. You don’t rip apart old pictures. You never truly let go. There might always be some resentment, but if she was ever truly your BFF, she’ll always have a special place in your heart.
  5. You’re more open to repair the relationship. Since you never really moved on, you never really gave up hope that the friendship could be repaired. After a romantic relationship, you see the problems, recognize that you were wrong for each other, and choose better the next time. When you lose a BFF, deep down you’re forever hoping she’ll come back.
  6. It came out of nowhere. When it comes to a boyfriend breakup, you’re either lying or completely clueless if you didn’t see it coming. Some part of you could see the signs and recognize the trouble in your relationship. When it comes to your BFF, there is no warning. You expect that no matter what, an issue will be resolved. One day you’re besties for life, and the next you’re crying during Grey’s Anatomy with no one there to share the tissues.
  7. The silence is deafening. Think about how much you talk to a boyfriend on a daily basis. Now think about how much you talk to your BFF. The difference is astounding. There’s no denying it — girls love to talk, and there’s always something to talk about. So while you might spend the night with your guy, your girl is in constant communication 24/7. Without that, life feels so much emptier.
  8. Your social lives were intertwined. If you were BFFs, you’re bound to have at least some (if not all) mutual friends. So who’s side do they pick? Which one of you gets the group while the other is forced to find a whole new crew? You just lost your best friend, and now you lost the rest of them, too. They may still keep in touch and remain on good terms, but when she’s invited to every outing and you never hear from them, you’re going to feel more than a little left out.
  9. You were a part of the family. A BFF is like another member to the family. When you’re at her house, you treat it like your own. Her parents expect you for dinners, you’re protective of her siblings, and you know every aunt, uncle and cousin there is. You felt like a permanent part of the family, but once she’s gone, you realize just how temporary you were.
  10. It’s a lot harder to make new friends. When you’re in school you could make a new best friend every single year. That all changes in adulthood. Not only are you busy AF, but you also don’t really have a lot of chances to make new friends. Your coworkers will vary in age, and unfortunately nobody goes to the bar to pick up friends. The whole thing blows.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.