You Could Easily Have A Boyfriend — Here’s Why You’re Still Choosing To Roll Solo

You Could Easily Have A Boyfriend — Here’s Why You’re Still Choosing To Roll Solo ©iStock/StudioThreeDots

“What’s wrong with me?” It’s something women often wonder after years of being single AF. Not you — rolling solo isn’t an unfortunate circumstance in your life, it’s a conscious choice. Here’s why you’re staying strong in your single status:

  1. You’re just not willing to settle. You shouldn’t have to. It’s a good thing that you’re not willing to settle for just any guy who’s “good enough.” You’re not jealous of all the married people on your Facebook because you know 50% of those marriages will end in divorce, probably because a lot of them settled…
  2. You’re a catch and you know it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it’s pretty damn hard to find the right one. There’s a guy out there for you but he’ll have to meet your standards if you’re going to put in the time and effort to form a lasting relationship. In the meantime, you go out, meet new people and know that eventually, one of those people just might be “The One.”
  3. Your BS detector is in high gear. You’re swiping all the bad boys to the left, but it’s still hard to find the good guys. You’re not necessarily cynical, but you’re so used to brushing away the BS that you no longer expect to find Prince Charming on your phone or elsewhere (not that it was ever a priority for you anyway).
  4. You’re not into casual sex. In modern dating, it’s pretty damn hard to find a guy who understands a woman who still takes sex seriously. Oh well — you’re not willing to give up your beliefs. Instead you’re holding out for the one guy who will understand, and in the end, he’ll be worth it.
  5. Your ex did a number on you. He treated you like crap and you’re not willing to get into a situation like that again. Relationships are meant to be something that enhances your life, not makes you feel like you’re drowning. Now that you’ve got your single freedom back again, you’re not willing to give that up again just yet.
  6. You have enough self-worth to know what you deserve. Knowing what you deserve is the first battle, but to win the war, you have to actually FIND what you deserve. That’s the hard part. You don’t let guys walk all over you and that’s a good thing. Girls mature faster than boys and at this rate it feels like the male population will never catch up.
  7. Finding a good guy is like finding a needle in a haystack. You’d think the world would be full of great guys who are perfect for you, but in reality, they call it “The One” for a reason. Think about how many men there are in the world. Now think about how many of those many are really great guys and finally, think about those great guys and how many would be perfect for you. It’s going to be a bit of a wait, but you’re perfectly fine with that.
  8. Anything a boyfriend can do for you, you can do for yourself. It used to be that women needed guys in their lives, whether it was for companionship, sex, to have kids, to spoil them, etc. Not anymore. Anything a guy can do for you, you can do yourself. In fact, you actually prefer it that way.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.