You Don’t Have To Do These 10 Things Just Because You’re Single

You Don’t Have To Do These 10 Things Just Because You’re Single ©iStock/alexey_ds

According to the Single Woman’s Handbook, there are certain things that prove to the world that you’re unattached. You watch chick flicks in your underwear while eating way too much pizza, dance around your apartment naked, and have a strict dealbreaker list that scares any guy away, right? Wrong. The reality of being single is much different from what people assume it’s really like. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to do the following things:

  1. Date every guy under the sun. Society seems to think that single women can never settle down. They have to date a million people at once and keep their options open. What if you don’t like dating more than one guy at a time? Being single doesn’t mean you have to date around if you’re not into that.
  2. Have tunnel vision about your career. Apparently only women without boyfriends have careers. You can’t have a relationship and a job, according to society. If you’re solo, it’s totally awesome if you love what you do – you should, since you spend the majority of your time at the office (or in your living room if you freelance). But you can still care about finding a boyfriend. That’s completely allowed.
  3. Eat weird food. You’re supposed to live on ramen and popcorn for dinner. You’re not supposed to actually like cooking. You’re eating for one, after all, which apparently means you don’t want to eat much at all. Don’t worry, it’s okay to be single and still want to cook a semi-gourmet meal for dinner. It may not be Food Network ready but it’s just you, after all.
  4. Latch onto any guy who expresses interest. Unfortunately, there’s a school of thought that seems to believe that if you’re single, you’re obsessed with getting married and having 100 kids. And you want this yesterday. It’s fine if you go on a first date and decide you don’t want a second. There will be other guys. You don’t have to date just anyone just because you’re in the market for a relationship.
  5. Move across the country or travel. There are tons of stories about single women who pack up all their belongings and travel the world for a year or move halfway across the country. They’re free, they’re not tied down, they can make their own decisions. That’s cool for them, really. If you like your life, your city, your apartment, that’s cool, too. Don’t feel pressured to make crazy decisions just because you don’t have someone to come home to.
  6. Party like crazy. News flash: single girls like to chill out in front of the TV just like everyone else. If you’re someone who loves going out all the time, all the power to you. But if you’re more of a homebody, that’s completely fine. You’re not failing at being single, you’re just being yourself. Besides, life is so hard – we all deserve some Netflix time.
  7. Be completely happy. In the old days they used to talk about “liberated women” and that term seems even more relevant today. Single women aren’t crying at home and wondering why no one loves them, they’re taking charge of their lives and enjoying themselves. Still, it’s okay if you’re not happy all the time. No one can experience joy on a daily basis and if you want to find love, of course you can’t be thrilled that you’re having a rough time finding someone that you have a real connection with.
  8. Do whatever you want. Of course there’s a certain amount of freedom that comes along with the single lifestyle. That doesn’t have to mean that you’re aggressive and adamant about always getting what you want. You have responsibilities like bills, rent, and that little thing called your job. So no, just because you’re not in a relationship doesn’t mean that you are actually super free.
  9. Give up. There’s this image of the single woman who has “given up.” She stops doing her hair, her make-up. She no longer cleans her apartment and basically doesn’t give a crap about anything or anyone. Why would you ever want to be that person? This is one single girl image that you definitely don’t need to make your reality.
  10. Complain. We seem to think that those of us that are unattached complain more than people in relationships and that’s just not true. If anything, my coupled-up friends complain about their boyfriends more than my single friends complain about the dating scene. If you want to keep a sunny outlook and a smile on your face, feel free to do so. You may be single but that doesn’t mean you can’t be in a good mood (most of the time).
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.