You Don’t Have To Define The Relationship To Know Where You Stand

If you’ve been hooking up with a guy for a while, you might be wondering if you should start calling him your boyfriend or if he still considers himself single. Well, you don’t have to sit him down to have an in-depth talk about your feelings to define your relationship. If you ask yourself these questions, you can figure out where you stand with him pretty easily.

  1. Does he sleep with other women? If he goes out to the club every weekend to hit on chicks, he’s not your boyfriend. Of course, if you’re the only person he has sex with, then your relationship could be heading for something serious. The first step to a monogamous relationship is to stop looking for new people to bang, after all.
  2. Do you two have chemistry? If there isn’t any chemistry, it doesn’t matter if he considers you his girlfriend, because you shouldn’t be wasting your time with him. You deserve to be with someone who’s interesting to talk to and fun to sleep with.
  3. Do you go out in public together? If he refuses to be seen with you at the mall, then he either has a fear of commitment or a few side chicks. Of course, if he doesn’t mind showing you off by holding your hand and kissing you in front of strangers, he probably thinks of you as his girlfriend.
  4. How often do you hang out? If you two have a standing date every weekend, then you’re probably on your way to becoming a couple. Otherwise, he’d just be booty-calling you on random nights.
  5. Is your relationship all about sex? When you visit him, do you skip straight to having sex or do you just enjoy each other’s company? If you two are able to drink a beer, play some video games, and talk about your lives without removing your clothes, then you’re more than hookup buddies.
  6. Has he met your parents? We’re not talking about accidentally running into them at the grocery store. If he’s actually sat down for dinner with your family, then you two are probably dating. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have agreed to take such a big step.
  7. Does he buy you gifts? Buying you Chipotle doesn’t cut it. If he’s bought you a gift for your birthday, or offered to spend the holidays with you, then you’re already in a relationship. Friends with benefits don’t spend money on each other unless they’re purchasing alcohol.
  8. Does he text you back? When you text him about anything other than sex, see how long it takes him to reply. If he doesn’t hesitate to contact you, he’d make a great boyfriend. If he doesn’t answer you until the next weekend, he wouldn’t be the greatest date.
  9. Does he remember the important things? Aside from your favorite sex positions, how much does he know about you? If he remembers your birthday, your favorite color, and your Taco Bell order, then he’s probably trying to become your boyfriend.
  10. Does he go AWOL without explanation? If it’s normal for you to go from talking every day to not hearing from him for a few days or even weeks at a time, that’s a problem. If he comes back without explanation or apology, that’s even worse.
  11. Is he still on dating apps? If he claims he’s “not active” on them but just “hasn’t gotten around to deleting them” yet, you don’t need to define the relationship. That’s because there isn’t one to define. He’s not serious about you, so don’t waste your time.
  12. Does he love you? Most men won’t say these three little words in order to get laid. So if he’s admitting that he’s in love with you, he’s desperately hoping to call you his girlfriend.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.