You Don’t Need Him To Complete You—Here’s How You Can Complete Yourself

That whole “you complete me” BS that happens in (codependent) relationships needs to stop right now. Although it’s a romantic idea, you’re not half a person and you certainly don’t need a guy to make you whole. Here are 13 ways to complete yourself.

  1. Create your best life. Don’t be afraid to live your life to the fullest now instead of waiting for that day when a special person enters it and all the pieces magically come together. You’re the one in charge of the puzzle and you’re the one who can complete it. Do so by pursuing your passions and dreams and living your best possible life all on your own.
  2. Meet your own needs. It might seem like a partner is required when it comes to certain needs being met, like having a support system or an amazing sex life. The truth is, with a bit of open-mindedness, you can achieve everything you want and have every need met, no man required. For example, you can have a support system of other loved ones or an amazing sex life with guys who aren’t your long-term partner. Do what you have to do to get it done.
  3. Develop your emotional connections. Sure, the emotional connection you feel with a friend isn’t the same as the one you have with a long-term partner, but there are a million different types of emotional bonds you can experience with people if you just step out of your box and realize that the world is an amazing, magical place. From deep friendships to strong relationships with your extended family and beyond, there are many people out there who’d love to be close to you.
  4. Focus on finding a purpose instead of finding a man. Make that your motto because even if you found Mr. Perfect, you’d still need a purpose. No one should be the reason you get up in the morning unless they’re your children. And even then, guess what? You need a greater sense of purpose for being on this earth. You can bet it’s not to be someone’s wife. You were made for greater things.
  5. Build yourself to become the best possible version of you. You don’t have to have someone in order to grow as a person. You should always be willing to learn more about yourself and where you’re going, as well as about the world at large. Take yourself to greater heights and you’ll realize that you’re the most important person worth having in your life.
  6. Realize your worthInstead of obsessing about the worth of a relationship, realize your own. You’re a valuable person and you deserve the very best that life and love have to offer. When you come to terms with that, it’s earth-shattering. It will make you see that you can have and be anything you want. That’s how you feel complete.
  7. Choose happiness. Some people find their perfect partner and they’re still miserable. The reason is that happiness doesn’t come hand-in-hand with a relationship. You’re the only one who can make yourself truly happy on a daily basis, no matter what your relationship status currently is on Facebook. With that in mind, choose to be happy and you’ll find a million different ways in which you can feel happy and fulfilled every day. It’s really up to you.
  8. Make a difference. No one’s going to feel that their life has meaning if they’re not doing things to help others, so extend yourself and try to lift someone up. Whether that means being a better friend, helping those in need, or supporting causes that mean something special to you, when you make a difference, your life will become more meaningful.
  9. Decide to be complete right now. Sometimes feeling that you’re complete without a partner is really a snap decision you can make. Right now, tell yourself you’re a whole person with an amazing life and you’re not waiting around for anything because you’re full just as you are. Keep telling yourself that and soon you’ll believe it.
  10. Focus on love, not fear. One of the worst things about believing that someone has to complete you is that you wait around in fear for a great relationship to come to your front door and worry that it won’t. Enough of that crap. You’re a woman created in love who has so much going for her. When you change the focus from fear to love, embracing what the world brings you, you realize that you’re pretty fulfilled as it is.
  11. Count your blessings. It sounds cliche, but when you stop and think about everything you’ve been blessed with in your life, you’ll realize that there are miracles all around you. You’ll see how lucky you actually are, especially if you note the misfortunes of those around you. Honestly, you’re overflowing with all the great things that have happened for you to be here right now. Don’t forget to be grateful for that. When you concentrate on what you have, you realize you actually need less.
  12. Stop apologizing. When you believe that you need to have a relationship in your life in order to be someone worthy and acceptable, you make excuses and apologies for who you are. No more! Stop apologizing. Accept who you are and the choices you’ve made. Stand by them because they’ve made you the amazing person you are! When you accept yourself, you teach others to accept you. The bonus? You’ll fine-tune your boundaries so you don’t allow anyone inside who doesn’t bring love to your life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.