You Don’t Need “Squad Goals” — You Need Good Friends

You Don’t Need “Squad Goals” — You Need Good Friends ©iStock/filadendron

Everywhere you look these days, you’re bombarded with ridiculous “squad goals” — ridiculously huge groups of friends that are popular and stylish and make your life seem glamorous to any outsider. It’s great to have friends that you love spending time with, but if you find yourself trying to seem popular by adding more and more people to the group (who often contribute next to nothing) instead of actually being there for the real, solid friends you have, there’s an issue. Stop trying to build a squad — your life will be much better without it.

  1. Squads are total money drains. All those nights out with the squad will cost you money. Does anyone really have time to deal with all the outfits you have to buy, all the dinner tabs, and all the club entrance fees? If you have a wallet that can handle it, kudos — you’re richer than I am. It’s still a waste of money.
  2. You spend so much time keeping the squad together. It’s a nightmare trying to get everyone’s schedules to work in tandem. If you have six-plus people all trying to put together a night on the town and you’re the odd one out who works 70+ hours per week, you’ll soon be the one who realizes how much time a squad demands. All of a sudden, nights out with the crew won’t fun – they’re time consuming and inconvenient.
  3. Hanging out in a big group often means you’ll have to keep up or lose it all. After people in my squad started to tell me to take time out of work just so that I could hang out with them, it became obvious that having a posse can mean losing all your friends just by having the wrong schedule. I told them I needed the money, then they stopped talking to me because I was always “too busy for them.” From what I’ve noticed, this isn’t an isolated event, and while it’s understandable in some cases, it’s not cool.
  4. There’s so much drama, too. Pinterest seems to be obsessed with people showing off squads as this infallible group of friends. In reality, every medium to large sized clique will have some kind of drama. People naturally will gravitate towards one person over another. People will gossip. Arguments will happen. This is life, and if you think having a squad will not have this happen, then you’re being silly.
  5. People aren’t accessories. One of the things that really irks me about the whole “chillin’ with the squad” phenomenon on social media is that it really treats people like accessories. Like, I understand that guys are hardwired to see girls who hang out in groups as more attractive, but does everyone really have to post 50 Instagram pictures of their squad every Saturday? I don’t like to be a prop that demonstrates other people’s popularity, and at times, it really feels like that’s what having a squad is all about.
  6. You can have just as good quality time with a single close friend, too. Squads are supposed to be about bonding with one another, and while that does happen, it’s often on a superficial level. The fact is that the most intensely awesome moments I’ve ever had were all one-on-one meetups with people who I cared about. Perhaps it’s just my inner introvert speaking, but it does feel like a lot of meetups are best when they’re intimate and one-on-one.
  7. The effects can be achieved other ways. The truth is that it doesn’t matter how you socialize, as much as it does the fact that it makes you feel good. As long as you have good friends, you’re already ahead of the game.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.