When you’re growing up, you think love will literally just appear when it’s supposed to. When you get older, you want to laugh at how innocent and naïve you were. But while dating may seem like a ton of work these days, that doesn’t mean you should give up. Here’s why you have to try if you want to find love:
- If you try, you will succeed. Look at anyone you know who’s in a relationship and they did something to get there. They joined a dreaded dating site or asked someone out in their friend group. Remind yourself of that whenever you get frustrated.
- Good things come to those who wait. It’s pretty rare that the first person you message on a dating site will end up being your one true love (although that did magically happen to a friend of mine). You’re going to need to keep at it for a while – it could be months, it could even be years. But put in the time and you will find love.
- It’s not as much work as you think. No one said you had to date 24/7 or even be trying to find dates every second of the day. Give yourself a break every once in a while. You can look whenever you feel like it, as long as your hiatus doesn’t go on forever because then it just defeats the purpose.
- You need to seem available. Keeping it cool and casual is more attractive than being clingy and desperate and yet being way too vague about your intentions is a way to get an almost relationship or a fling. You need to seem like you’re relationship ready if that’s what you want.
- You can enjoy it. No, that wasn’t a joke. Put on a brave face and try to have more fun when you’re on dates and when you’re setting them up. You can always learn something from someone – even if it’s just that film majors are majorly pretentious (true story).
- You can’t be so stubborn. You already know being too picky can be a disaster but being super stubborn is a problem, too. You should let someone else plan the dates sometimes and try to be more adaptable. It’s just one evening and even if you’re seeing a movie you hate or going to your least fave restaurant, it won’t kill you.
- It gets easier. Think about where you were when you first started dating and where you are now. You got better at fielding potential dates and walking out on awful people. Dating only gets easier because you get more experience, so don’t give up.
- Giving up is lame. There are tons of happily single women out there who never, ever date, but that doesn’t seem like the greatest plan if you want love. If you don’t meet people organically anymore, then you do have to make the effort.
- You’ll be glad you tried. You have two choices: sit in front of Netflix every night for the rest of your life or make an effort to meet new people. You’ll never regret going on dates, even if most of them tend to suck. One night you’ll have The Date that is the ticket to your forever relationship. You’ll be so glad you tried.
