You Liked Me But Never Asked Me Out On A Proper Date — WTF?

You Liked Me But Never Asked Me Out On A Proper Date — WTF? ©iStock/AleksandarNakic

We’ve known each other for years — I even told you that I like you. You blushed profusely, stammered, threw your hands up in the air and ran away. Despite the fact that you passionately kissed me and made it painfully clear that you were into me, you never actually asked me out. WTF?

  1. To this day, I still have no idea why you never asked me out. Was it only fear? Was it the fact that you knew you were too immature? Was it family issues? Really, I can’t understand why.
  2. It was obvious how you felt about me. It’s not like you were being subtle. You were blushing, stammering and also staring at me every single time we’d cross paths. At one point, you tried to hide your erection in front of me. When you had enough courage, you’d do stuff to play it off like you were “too cool for school.” Even when you try to deny it, you’re the most blatantly obvious person when you’re crushing on someone.
  3. You weren’t scared to kiss me, but you were petrified to ask me out? You had no issue kissing me, holding me or touching my body, but when it actually came to talking, you turned into a trainwreck. I don’t understand what’s so terrifying about having a conversation with me, considering that you had no problem giving me a romance novel-grade kiss.
  4. What’s so scary about this, anyway? The worst thing a girl could tell a guy who’s asking her out is “no.” You were legit acting as if I’d have turned into a bloodthirsty animal if you would have asked me on a date.
  5. It’s not like you didn’t know the answer would have been yes. And it would have been a resounding yes. As in, the kind of yes that involves me jumping up into your arms and kissing you like an excited puppy. I know I’m an intimidating person, and I tried to be as fluffy, soft and approachable as possible. Somehow, that still wasn’t enough to get you to act like a man.
  6. This is not adult behavior. Come on, dude! You’re a grown man. Why are you acting like a shy middle schooler? There’s no reason that anyone over the age of 13 should be acting that way. You’re not a young kid anymore.
  7. Girls get really frustrated by guys like you — and not in a sexy way. This kind of behavior really baffles us women, and it’s also a major pet peeve. Girls like to feel like they’re being chased. We love the idea that we might be able to make a guy feel like he’s the king of the world just by saying yes to a date, or that a guy might actually want to be romantic with us. Not even asking us out makes us feel like you either don’t care or that we have to “be the guy.” It makes us feel like we’d have to act desperate, and that’s just awful.
  8. It hurt. I know it hurt to see me date someone else, but you hurt me too. I’m not sure if you understand this, but you inadvertently rejected me. Hell, you didn’t even reply when I asked you out — you just ran away.
  9. You have so many great qualities — how you could be so insecure. You’re smart. You’re adorable. You give great hugs. You’re a great kisser. You’re a successful guy. There’s a reason I liked you, bro!
  10. You had no right to sulk and pout when I began dating other people. Look, you had your chance. In fact, I pretty much offered myself up on a silver platter to you. You just didn’t take that chance. So, I found someone who did. All those emo comments and pouty faces didn’t make you look sexy, either.
  11. You acting like this made me realize I shouldn’t be with you. I’m not someone who works well with guys who are passive-aggressive, or guys who are just plain scared to talk to me. I need a guy who can actually confront problems head-on. What you did was the polar opposite of that, and it ended up turning me off to you completely.
  12. You have no one to blame but yourself. Word has it that you didn’t ask me out because you were intimidated by me. I told you I liked you, then waited for you to ask me on a date — and dear Lord, did I wait. I actually waited for months. You did nothing, so I decided I didn’t want you anymore. It could have been different, but your insecurity made your worries a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.