You Might Be Totally Wrong About Your “Type” & It’s Holding You Back In Love

“What’s your type?” That might be the most popular question when it comes to dating, and we always know when a guy just isn’t. But…do we have any idea of what we’re talking about? Surely you’ve got a good friend or two who slipped into your life without fitting any preconceived molds. Here’s why you might be totally wrong about your “type”, and how it’s probably keeping you from finding love.

  1. You’ve never deviated from it. Having a type when it’s the only kind of guy you’ve dated is like saying you only eat vanilla ice cream when you haven’t even tried chocolate peanut butter or cookie dough. How do you know?
  2. You’re single. If you have a type but you haven’t found the right guy within that type, it might be a sign that you’re limiting your options a bit too much. Widening the pool will introduce you to guys you never expected to meet, and you may just find the one for you.
  3. Men have judged you based on your own type. And then you and girlfriends sat around and lamented about what he’s missing out on by not getting the time to know the real you. Look at it the other way and you’ll suddenly realize the point.
  4. What you want can evolve. If you wrote out a list of desirable traits in a man when you were 19 and looked it over now, you might realize that some of your thoughts are a little outdated.
  5. Men change, too. Having some standards is good, but so is keeping your expectations reasonable, because people do change for the better in unexpected ways.
  6. You’re often surprised by people. If you’re constantly shocked by some of the interesting things that you find out about people, then odds are there’s more good qualities in men floating around than you anticipated. Limiting yourself to a “type” means you’re missing out on some interesting and amazing humans.
  7. You get burned all the time. Your type might not be worth sticking with too intensely if those guys don’t seem to really like you back.
  8. Differences aren’t deal breakers. It’s probably less important that he be a total cat lover and more important that he’s at least willing to get to know yours.
  9. Research says you change you mind, anyway. Some research has found that people tend to use “revisionist theory” to describe their ideal type… as in you shape your preferences around the qualities of the person you’re with at any time.
  10. You’ve seen solid couples and thought, “WTF?! How did that pairing happen?” They didn’t make their life impossible by adhering to a single possibility and they fell in love, that’s how. It happens.
  11. Attraction isn’t just about looks. Tall, dark, and handsome is the classic type when it comes to physical attributes, but how many people are really dating that kind of guy? It’s all about perception, and when you fall for a guy, you’re going to think he’s attractive regardless.
  12. You’d be willing to change your type for the right guy. You might have a very distinct type, but the second some dreamboat who’s funny, kind, and all around husband material pops up, you might forget that you said you’d never date a blonde.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog