You Might Not Need A Boyfriend, But There’s Nothing Wrong With Wanting One

You Might Not Need A Boyfriend, But There’s Nothing Wrong With Wanting One ©iStock/visualspace

Some women shy away from telling the world that they want a boyfriend because they don’t want to come off as needy or desperate. And while most people can agree that needing a man can veer into dangerous territory, there’s nothing wrong with wanting one. You can totally still be an independent woman but want the cute love stuff, as well — the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

  1. There’s nothing you can’t do for yourself. You’re fully capable of replacing light bulbs and setting the DVR, but you would prefer to have someone to join you on the couch and watch all the movies you’ve got recorded.
  2. You’re happy single or coupled up. Your relationship status doesn’t play into your sense of self too much, so you’re at the same base level of happiness in life whether a guy is in it or not. You’d love to have a great guy around, but you’re not bummed out in the meantime.
  3. You only date people that add something to your life. Your goal isn’t just to be a “girlfriend,” so you only commit when someone seriously awesome comes along. Your standards are pretty high because you don’t need just anyone on your arm.
  4. You always know when it’s time to break up. You don’t have a hard time time letting go of the wrong thing because you’re acutely aware of what’s good for you and what isn’t.
  5. You trust that someone else will come along. You also know that there are other people out there for you, so while it can be challenging to end relationships, you’d rather be alone for a while until you meet the one you actually want.
  6. You can have sex with yourself. Sure, you might prefer the contact of a hot man sharing the sheets when you get down, but you also don’t need a guy to handle your business. You can keep yourself busy in the meantime.
  7. You’re comfortable with casual dating. Maybe you like to have guys around that are like half-boyfriends, but you keep it light because you don’t want to deal with all the serious stuff that seems to go along with serious relationships.
  8. You take responsibility for your crap. You love the give and take that occurs in a good relationship, but you also can remember to handle your responsibilities and kill it at life without someone reminding you and pushing you along.
  9. You just can’t find someone that fits. You might really want to be in a relationship, but if your options don’t understand your need for space and relaxing time alone, you’ll pass, thank you very much.
  10. You’re not going to waste your time with energy drains. On the flip side, you don’t want to date someone that needs you to play the role of his mother, either. Your ideal match has his stuff together and respects that you do, as well.
  11. You’re busy. Sometimes we get so busy with our work lives that we don’t really have tons of time to give to a relationship. While we would love one, we also know when it wouldn’t be fair to the other person to be in one.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog