You Owe Me A Year Of My Life Back

They say every failure is a lesson learned but, honestly,  you were just a waste of my time. If I could go back and take back the year we spent together, I would do it in a heart beat. I’m ultimately to blame for losing myself in you, but you still owe me since nothing good came from our relationship, and I did so much for you and got nothing in return. So this one’s for you, loser. Here’s why you owe me a year of my life back.

I stopped doing things I enjoy for you.

You didn’t want me to go out with my friends, so I didn’t. You didn’t like it when I drank, so I stopped. I gave up so many things for you, and it wasn’t even worth it.

Every second of my free time went to you.

My weekends were yours. Any time I had a break at work, I called you. If I wanted to make plans, I had to check with you first. It was exhausting. And for what? Nothing.

I was always trying to make sure you were happy.

I felt like my sole purpose in life was to make you happy, even at the expense of myself. I wasn’t happy but that didn’t seem to matter to you.

Our status changed constantly.

One minute we were together, the next you didn’t know what you wanted. One minute you were telling me how much you loved me, the next I wasn’t worth it and you didn’t want to be with me. I never knew if I was single or not. It changed all the time.

I was walking on eggshells with you.

You’re a hot-head with a bad temper who knows how to sweet-talk a girl, and I never knew what side of you I was going to get. A relationship isn’t supposed to be a huge stressor in your life, but honestly it got to the point that that’s all you were.

I lost myself trying to be what you wanted.

I wasted way too much time trying to be perfect for you. From the way I did my hair and the way my body looked to how I spoke and what I would talk about — everything had your opinion smacked all over it. By the end of our relationship, I couldn’t even tell who I was anymore.

You were verbally abusive. 

You may never see it, but how you treated me and the things you said to me were verbally abusive. I spent a year of my life listening to you yell at me, call me horrific names, accuse me for things I didn’t do and top it off with an “I hate you” every now and then. The worst part is, you would come back and apologize… and the cycle would start all over again. I know it’s my fault for believing you, but it’s your fault for being a piece of crap.

You cheated on me.

And yet, after everything we went through, after putting up with your BS day after day trying to be everything you wanted and making sure you were happy, you still cheated on me. What a waste of my time.

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