You Think These 10 Things Are Helping Your Relationship, But They’re Actually Sabotaging It

You love your man, so you’ll do anything to make your relationship last. Of course, even though your heart is in the right place, it doesn’t mean that your actions are helping your relationship. The moves you’re making could actually be sabotaging it. The moral? Do what you want to do in a relationship, not what you think you’re supposed to do – because if you’re doing any of the following, you’re royally screwing up your chances of making it last long term.

  1. Holding back your opinions. When your man does something small that pisses you off, you’re allowed to voice your opinion. That doesn’t mean you should scream at him until your lungs are raw – just tell him how you’re feeling, because bottling up your emotions will either make you resent him or leave him in the long run.
  2. Never mentioning your exes. It’s true that your current boyfriend doesn’t want to hear about how much you loved your ex. However, it’s important to let him know why your past relationships went downhill so that he doesn’t make the same mistakes. Besides, your past shaped you into the person you are today, so you should bring up your ex every once in a while if you want your boyfriend to get to know the real you.
  3. Letting him make all of the decisions. When he asks where you’d like to go for dinner, he actually wants to know what you’re in the mood to eat. Don’t force him to make all of the decisions because you assume it’s better than bossing him around. If you never help him make the choices that you two should be making together, he’s going to become frustrated about always being the one who has to do the thinking.
  4. Giving up your life for him. You shouldn’t quit your job or drop all of your friends in order to have more time to spend with your boyfriend. He understands that you have a life of your own. If you give up everything for him, you’re going to end up resenting all of the things that he refuses to give up for you.
  5. Getting too close to his friends. Yes, it’s wonderful when you get along with your boyfriend’s friends. It’s even better when they like you so much that they invite you out whenever they invite your boyfriend out. However, couples need some time apart. If he can’t hang out with his buddies without you tagging along, fights could break out. That’s what happens when you’re together constantly.
  6. Telling everyone about how in love you are. You don’t have to post thousands of pictures of you and your boyfriend kissing onto Facebook and Instagram. It isn’t validating your relationship. In fact, it can actually make your boyfriend feel like he doesn’t have any privacy.
  7. Always saying “yes” to sex. If you’re not in the mood for sex, you’re allowed to tell him you have a headache. Having sex with him when you don’t feel like it can actually hurt your relationship, because it won’t feel passionate and sexy. It’ll just feel stale.
  8. Asking your friends for advice. If you complain to your friends about every little thing your man does, they’re eventually going to tell you to break up with him, so they don’t have to hear you vent anymore. When that happens, you’ll wonder if they’re right and will start thinking about their opinion more than your own.
  9. Waiting on him hand and foot. If he can walk all over you, he won’t respect you. Healthy relationships require both parties to act as teammates. If he’s more like your boss than your partner, then things aren’t going to last long.
  10. Trying to change yourself. If you’re unhappy with certain personality traits, feel free to try to change them. But you should never change yourself for a man. At the end of the day, he should love you for you. If he doesn’t, then a break up is inevitable, no matter how many changes you make.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.