You Treated Me Like Crap & Now You Want A Second Chance? Um, No

You Treated Me Like Crap & Now You Want A Second Chance? Um, No ©iStock/SanneBerg

So you’re sorry and you want another chance? Screw you. You blew it and I’m good on my own. It’s tough at times but I’m working through it. Breakups are always hard for everyone involved, but your feelings just aren’t my concern anymore.

  1. I’m not responsible for your regret. You’re the one who broke us. You, all by yourself. You’re uncomfortable with the reality of being apart, but I’m not responsible for this breakup or your feelings. I would have chosen to stay together, but you blew it. You have no one to blame but yourself, so man up and try to deal on your own.
  2. I can’t be there for you when I’m healing myself. I only have so much support to give, and right now I’m giving it all to myself. I need to take care of myself so I can be OK. I deserve to put myself first right now, and quite frankly that means I have literally nothing to give anyone else, especially you. Getting back together won’t magically heal my wounds — it’ll just put another worry on my plate.
  3. I don’t trust that you know my worth. I know what I’m worth and what I deserve, and I’ll never settle for less. I’m not sure you know what I’m worth because you ruined what we had. Maybe it was an accident or a mistake, or maybe you thought gambling on our relationship wasn’t a very large bet. I may never know for certain, but I do know that I’m not confident that you understand just how amazing I am — and I’ll hold out for someone who does without a single doubt.
  4. Remorse isn’t equivalent to growth. You’re filled with regret. That’s a mood, not a personal growth. You’re remorseful and want another chance, but what does remorse say about the future? Realizing you were wrong doesn’t mean you’ve changed. Feeling something doesn’t mean you’ve learned. I can’t do anything with your sad thoughts and feelings except acknowledge that breaking up sucks… for everyone involved.
  5. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Words of lessons learned and a blissful future can be beautiful and intoxicating, but they’re ultimately cheap. Saying sorry is easy; being better is significantly more difficult. If I have to choose between your past actions and your present words to guess what our future will look like, I can really only use your actions as evidence. You may call it another chance to be together, but all I hear is another opportunity to break us apart.
  6. I want to move on — don’t get in the way. I’m getting on with my life and your attempts to get back together are only stalling that. I’m finding new hobbies and friends that make me happy, so please stop trying to get in the way of me living my life. Eventually I will start dating again, but it won’t be with you. I’m moving on, even though you don’t want me to. I’m moving on because it’s healthy and because I want to, and I won’t allow your feelings to stop me.
  7. You want to get back together because you’re in pain, not because I am. Where were you when I was in pain? When you were the one who caused it? Only when you started to feel the hurt of being broken up did you beg for a second chance. Even during a breakup, you continue to be selfish. A self-centered, self-interested apology doesn’t really inspire a forgiving mood, so I’d rather not even hear it.
  8. My future looks bright, and it doesn’t include you. There was a time where I thought our futures would be intertwined, but you completely smashed that image for me. I’ve put the pieces of my life back together and have a new idea of what my future will bring. It looks friggin’ awesome, and you’re nowhere in sight. My dream just doesn’t include you anymore, and that’s not something a relationship can come back from.
  9. You’re in charge of your happiness. Go out in the world. Experience and engage with it. Grow, be happy being single and fall in love with someone new. Have a rich, fulfilling life — just leave me the hell out of it. I’m not interested anymore. Now, or ever.
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.