Are You Guilty Of “You-Turning” Guys? This New Dating Trend Is Cruel

We know that dating can totally suck and a lot of the bad behavior is perpetuated by guys. However, we ladies aren’t totally innocent here—in fact, many of us are guilty of a cruel new dating trend known as “you-turning” and there’s really no excuse for it.

  1. It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Someone who participates in you-turning says and acts like they really like (or even love!) the person they’re dating, only to quickly change course and totally change their mind. WTF?
  2. It can be totally devastating to the person on the receiving end. Because you-turning happens out of nowhere, it’s totally unexpected for the other person and can be really hurtful. After all, when you’re having a great time in a relationship and think things are going well only for the other person to dump you without warning, it’s bound to make you feel like crap.
  3. A lot of people have experienced this before. According to Plenty of Fish, roughly 30% of people have been on the receiving end of you-turning behavior, which is kind of insane. What’s wrong with dating today?
  4. Women are the guiltiest of all. Participants in the survey were surprisingly forthcoming about their bad behavior, with 39% of women admitting that they’ve you-turned on someone they were dating before. As a contrast, only 33% of men have copped to doing it, though that figure could be a little off since not everyone is willing to admit that they’re such an a-hole.
  5. I guess it’s better to know sooner rather than later if someone’s not into you. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, the last thing you want to do is waste time with someone who clearly has no intention of staying with you long-term. Still, it kinda sucks that someone’s feelings can change so quickly. It makes it hard to ever get comfortable in a relationship!
Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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