You’ll Never Be Good Enough For A Guy Who Just Isn’t Ready

You could be Beyoncé-level rich, hot and successful and you would still get rejected by the guy who isn’t ready to commit to you. Why? Because you’re already beautiful, successful, kind, and courageous in your own signature way, and the man who IS ready – the one who is truly worthy of you – would be too afraid to let you get away. If he says he’s not ready, you need to stop wasting your time. He’ll never be ready. Here’s why:

  1. He needs closure from his last relationship. Not everyone needs closure to move on, but some truly do. If his last relationship ended over bad timing or it was on-and-off and just fizzled out, he might still have feelings for his ex. But no matter what he’s feeling, he should figure out how to find a resolution without you guiding him. If he’s unwilling to do that, then he’s choosing the chance to get back with his ex over you. Boy, bye.
  2. It might just be an excuse for him to stay single. This is a classic line for cowardly boys (not men) to spout off when they don’t want to hurt your feelings or piss you off, but still want to mess around with other people. That’s his choice, of course, but if you want more and he doesn’t, it’s time to move on.
  3. He’s not into you. Saying “I’m not ready” is, in most cases, the weak man’s way of saying he’s not into you. “It’s not you, it’s me.” And he’s right, this is his problem and his loss because you’re way too good for a guy who doesn’t see all that you have to offer.
  4. He’s a fool. Some guys are just THAT blind. They don’t see what’s in front of them until you’ve lost interest and moved on. The fool will come back and try to woo you with, “I messed up. I’m ready now.” While a few do actually smarten up, most don’t. Don’t fall for this BS.
  5. You think he just needs time. He doesn’t. You think if you just wait until he’s “ready,” he’ll truly appreciate you for your sacrifice. Just… no. The longer you stay hung up on the wrong guy, the less time you spend on actually being open to finding the right guy. Wake up, girl!
  6. You scare the crap out of him. He might be so below your level that you genuinely scare him, but this is what separates the men from the boys. Men don’t scare easily. Men want a partner, not just arm candy. They want to see you shine. Boys know you that you don’t need them in order to shine, which cripples them with fear.
  7. He’s deeply insecure. Another difference between boys and men is confidence. Men have it and boys lack it. If you know your worth and radiate confidence, your very presence reminds boys who claim they “aren’t ready” that you could do better. It reminds them of their weakness and makes them act like jerks. This is why confidence is the hottest quality anyone can have.
  8. You’re one of many, and you should be the only one. If says he’s not ready, another reason is that he’s seeing multiple people right now and doesn’t feel like picking one. Modern dating can be fun, sure, but you should always be the clear standout, and if he doesn’t see that, it’s his loss. Let him go.
  9. He’s a manipulative douchebag. He might just enjoy watching you dangle. If that’s the case, he’s a unique form of evil that you should run away from. If you have sensed any gaslighting or other manipulative tendencies, pay attention. This is a sign that things will only get worse, that he will never commit, and you will always question your worth in his presence.
  10. He thinks he can do better. He’s wrong. Looking through dating apps and swiping through the potential suitors, some like to climb the dating ladder. This means they’re always looking to trade up, and he could be doing that to you. Take comfort in knowing that he’ll never be satisfied with a life like that. Because the grass is never actually greener, especially when you’re too lazy to water the grass you have.
is a freelance writer for Bustle and Petcha, and editor for Wise Bread. She suffers from separation anxiety, and can't bear to be away from her dog for more than 20 minutes. Her dog doesn't seem to care either way. Sweater season is her favorite season.