Being cheated on is one of the worst betrayals you can experience. When you trust your partner with your heart and they completely disregard that trust by being unfaithful, it can truly shake your faith in love and make you question your self-worth. Unfortunately, there’s also nothing you can do to prevent it from happening. Here’s why you can’t stop a cheater from cheating and you shouldn’t even bother trying.
- They have a sense of entitlement. If you’re dating a cheater, the sad truth is that they obviously have a sense of entitlement. They feel that they’re owed multiple sexual partners and that you should simply accept it. This may not be a conscious belief they hold, but there’s definitely a part of them that feels it’s their right to sleep around while you remain faithful only to them.
- They’re looking for external validation. A cheater lacks the ability to stop themself because they’re driven by the overwhelming need for validation outside of the relationship. It doesn’t matter if you tell them that the sun shines out of their butthole on a daily basis — it’s not enough for them. They constantly need their ego pumped and they don’t want it to come from you because they’re used to you. They’re looking for that rush of a stranger’s attention and there’s nothing you can do about it.
- You can’t control someone else’s behavior. You’re responsible for yourself and that’s it. As much as you’d like to think you can stop a cheater via your own actions, you can’t. Your partner is an adult capable of making their own decisions, which they will. If they decide to cheat on you, no amount of begging, pleading, cajoling, or blackmailing is going to make them stop. You’re powerless against their betrayal and while that’s upsetting, it’s also somewhat of a relief once you accept it.
- It’s impossible to dictate what happens when you’re not around. Much like you can’t control a person’s behavior, you also can’t control their surroundings. Whether they’re going on a night out with their friends, out of town on a business trip, or to their hometown for the weekend, there’s no way you can dictate who they see, where they go, and what they get up to. It’s also not your responsibility, by the way.
- It’s possible they have a sex addiction. This is less likely but totally possible. Perhaps your cheater isn’t doing it for fun but because of a compulsion tied to an actual sex addiction that they’re powerless to stop. In this case, it’s vital that you get out of the relationship with them immediately and that they seek help. You deserve so much better and frankly, so do they.