You’ll Never Survive Dating Without This One Important Thing

You’ll Never Survive Dating Without This One Important Thing ©iStock/LeoPatrizi

Love is high risk, especially when your heart is fully on the line, but when it works out, it’s more than worth it. To get there, though, you have to put yourself out there, play smart, and most importantly, you have to have confidence. Without it, you’ll never find what you’re looking for.

  1. You won’t find happiness with a guy if you’re not happy with yourself. You can keep wishing and hoping that you’ll find an amazing man to make you happy, but that’s just a fantasy. That dream will never come true. Why? Because it’s impossible to find happiness with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself first and foremost. If you don’t have the confidence to love yourself then your self-loathing will always be the thing standing in your way of true happiness.
  2. You won’t be able to take rejection. Not every man you meet is going to be romantically (or even physically) interested in you. That’s just a fact you’re going to have to accept. Everyone is unattractive to someone. So stop taking rejection so personally. If you look at it the right way, the person rejecting you is actually doing you a favor. Rather than wasting your time and pretending to be interested, they’re allowing you to move past what’s wrong and onto your true Mr. Right.
  3. You can’t overcome heartbreak without it. You weren’t the first girl to get dumped and you certainly won’t be the last. How does everyone get over the heartbreak, though? How do their wounds finally heal? They find the strength to move on. Letting go of your past relationship is all about realizing that you broke up for a reason — you just weren’t right for each other. The best thing you can do for yourself is realize that it’s his loss and assure yourself you’re worthy of more.
  4. If you don’t love yourself, no man can love you. If you don’t have any love for yourself, please explain why a man should love you. Go ahead. Nothing? That’s because if you don’t love yourself then you can’t justify anyone else loving you either. Until you find self-acceptance you’ll reject love and push away anyone who gets too close. That’s why self-love will always be most important.
  5. You’ll let men walk all over you. If you want a man to treat you right, then you need to be willing to stand up for yourself. Weak women — women who have low self-esteem, the women who don’t love themselves — are the women who allow men to treat them like crap. If you don’t have confidence, you come across as weak, and no man will bend over backward for that.
  6. You won’t be able to go after what (or who) you want. Women who are confident don’t wait around for men to come to them. If they really want a man, they’re not afraid to make the first move. If you’re suffering from low self-esteem, you’ll never have the confidence to take charge because you’ll be too afraid of rejection, and that’s no way to live.
  7. You won’t know how to be yourself. If you’re not comfortable being yourself, how is any man ever supposed to fall in love with the real you? You’ll end up acting like the girl you think he wants and he’ll never truly know you. You don’t like yourself the way you are, and that’s going to show. You’ll be an awkward shell of the woman you want to be and just like you rejected yourself, he’ll reject you too.
  8. You won’t fight for the love you deserve. If you’re not confident, then you don’t realize that you’re worthy of real love. Instead, you’ll accept the unhealthy love you think you deserve. You’re willing to settle for the bare minimum. Men will always be lazy in love with you because they know they don’t have to work to make you stay. No matter how you’re treating, you’ll put up with the BS anyway because that’s what you think you deserve.
  9. You won’t realize that no man can fix your problems. That’s up to you. You can’t go into a relationship thinking that something is wrong with you and hoping a man will fix you up into the woman you’re supposed to be. Your problems are your own, so deal with your issues by yourself because if you need a guy rather than just wanting one, he’ll see you as a dependent and never truly want you in return.
  10. You’ll be way more likely to settle. Without confidence, you’ll accept whatever love comes your way. A man could treat you like dirt and your low self-esteem would just keep going back for more. If you want to find real love and true happiness then you’ll need confidence to do it. Survival is all about being the fittest and that’s why when you have low self-esteem you just continue to lose.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.